Texas Wannabe Bars

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Texas has given birth to a unique kind of bar, which can be called the Texas Wannabe Bar. These bars have several identifying characteristics, many of which set them apart from bars that one might actually find in Texas.

  1. The neon beer signs are in the shape of Texas, cowboys, cowboy boots, longhorns, and lone stars. (This can be found inside Real Texas bars too, but Real Texas bars can have shamrocks on the walls instead.)
  2. There's often country music on the television. (Real Texas bars have sports on the TV. In fact, the question there is not "Are you watching the game?", but "Which game?". They may have country music on the radio, but they're as likely to play the Rolling Stones.)
  3. There's Texas paraphenalia all around, like Texas maps, Texas murals, and Texas soil under glass. (Real Texas bars don't bother. Unless, of course, they're theme bars, in which case they can't help where their paraphenalia comes from. For example, a Real Texas bar in Grapevine has an antique car on top of the salad bar, with Texas plates. But Real Texas bars from a small statistical sample in Dallas and Austin have an Iowa Interstate 80 road sign, Arizona State Police patches, a Rehoboth Beach Delaware tray, and Los Angeles Times front pages on the walls.)
  4. There is almost never a Texas Bock on tap. (Real Texas bars, of course, have at least one Texas Bock, usually Shiner.)
  5. The name of the bar usually incorporates the word "Texas" or "Lone Star", just to get the point across. Real Texas bars can be named anything, just like real bars anywhere.

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