Once upon a time, a woman kissed a frog. It didn't turn out quite as she'd planned. But sometimes in life - not often, perhaps - but sometimes you get a second chance.

Frog Out of Water

A cold and rainy day that breeds despair

Four hours until it's time to go to bed

Read Heat, Hello, OK and Marie Claire
Oh god, my brain feels like it's turned to lead

Got up and staggered to the kitchenette

Helping myself to one more glass of wine

Exactly fourteen months since we first met

Why did I let him go when he was mine?

Of course an ex-frog has his little quirks

Unhealthy, unhygienic and unwise

(Like, what man doesn't? Most of them are jerks

Don't know why it should come as a surprise)

And could we reconcile, Frog Prince and I?

Would he give me and him another try?

A Froggy Day in London Town

On Sunday afternoon we met at three

Our chosen rendezvous, a quiet bar

I needed Chardonnay and he drank tea

No conversation, but no rows (so far)

Glass in my hand I wondered what to say

Gathered my strength and took a breath or two

Opened my mouth then closed it straight away

He'd just got up and gone to find the loo

Eventually he came back and said, "Right,"

"You want another drink? A glass of wine?"

How could I turn him down? I said, "Large. White"

Our fingers touched; a spark ran down my spine

So, later on my doorstep there we stood

"A coffee?" He said yes, he thought he would

Frogive and Froget

Years later we had settled down at last

Some sermons read, vows exchanged, hymns were sung

Although he can't completely 'scape his past:

Neat tricks, like catching flies upon his tongue

Together and contented for all time?

Oh, don't think there were no bumps in the road

Not holding back from nagging is my crime

Yet sometimes he can be less frog than toad

Relationships like ours must be maintained

Or show a tendency to fall apart

We know that sometimes things can get quite strained

Living here side-by-side and heart-to-heart

Each day a new horizon, me and you

Years living on a lily pad for two