h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oi diddennow derwuz ennibahddiels dacood doodat thingwidda woids. Itzalwys binna trikkamoine beecawza howoive hadda livawllovahda woildta loinda localvanacula azkwikazoicood, soznodda gorownd beeuhn laftat fursownden loikaferrina ersumtin. Knowwud Oimsayuntoya?

[I didn't know there was anybody else that could do that thing with the words. It's always been a trick of mine because of how I've had to live all over the world, to learn the local vernacular as quick as I could, so as not to go around being laughed at for sounding like a foreigner or something. Know what I'm saying to you?]

Actually, as a kid, I kept a notepad in my pocket every time we moved, so I could make phonetic notations of how specific things were pronounced, either so I could make myself understood, or so I would know what someone was saying to me. My parents disliked the way I picked up the 'common' accents, but it saved me any number of beatings-up in schools.

Mother was 'fraffly Received Pronunciation', and dear old dad tried *slightly* too hard to sound like Churchill. It wasn't a particularly bad imitation, so much as that coming from a smallish chap with excessively natty Italian suits, that 'soldierly' voice seemed... well, nearly as affected as it was. He *looked* as though he should have sounded like Sebastian Flyte. He had an excellent ear for languages, and wherever we went, he knew the local language, not just what went by the name 'English' there (which is what I learned). Mother looked precisely as she sounded. Snobbish, stiff, and good at ordering servants about, while dear old dad patiently translated into Malay, or German, or Spanish. Mother's biggest complaint was:

'Hwey cahn't we have a rrisphectible retinue? Shhawwli thah mahst bi a fyeww Inglish-sphikking, prrohppalli trreyned, domestic sahvants abite the airyah?

[Why can't we have a respectable retinue? Surely there must be a few English-speaking, properly trained, domestic servants about the area?]

Even imagining that makes me cringe. I was perpetually embarrassed by 'Muthah'. Those rrolled 'r's were so 'too-too'.



~Silent Lucidity~

Owe, I had fun wrydin dat! Nuthin lyke sayin eggsagguraded woids owdlowdta realyze how trooly awfull ya sownd!

(Oh, I had fun writing that! Nothing like saying exaggerated words out loud to realize how truly awful you sound!)

Yes, but the true test is when you listen to your children. If you can.

Too true!

And we had the impression that they never listened to us.
My mother-in-law is absolutely peeved at how much my daughter sounds like me.

* Mark *

*sniffs air*
"what was that?"
The bed linen seems to have taken on a life of its own.
Goes to get clean broom.

Don't panic. Apparently the bed linen just wants us to know that his name is Mark.

Nah, he's been doing that where ever Silent Lucidity has been.
That little controversy isn't over yet. I unsubscribed from it days ago.
Same old cast, new season, but it seems like a rerun.

Shows how naive I am, I didn't even realize ... *sigh*

Well, no, I'm not sure how many people realize that SL was following my posts around for a few days.

I haven't really been involved in much of what's been going on. I just try not to offend anybody ... at least not too much.

I try to stay out of the politics but it looks like I'm going right back to them..
I've been talking to JWF and some others about dragging the AWW and the Comedy Workshop out of the depths.
Now Lucindas involved and the post staff is visiting and the AGGH is apparently going to be used to select gems from among the losers in the flea market and the AWW.
All I wanted to do was find a place around here where I could crank out humor on a regular basis someplace besides my journal.

Have you thought about starting something yourself?

How?

You could always make an Entry inviting people to share their humor. I started something with the NE US Researchers, and quite a few people signed up for it.

Hmm!

Go on. Ponder it a while. I'll wait.

No. I think it's a good idea.

But that was what happened with the Comedy Workshop

and it's got cobwebs right now.

I think I'll concentrate on my first three entry drafts and thinking about Bossel wanting me to become a scout.

And some day I'll get back to that stupid novel sitting in the shoe box at my feet. My screensaver and desktop both shout 'Finish The Novel!.

You never really know what'll strike people's fancy and get them to participate.

Good luck with the novel! It's hard getting the discipline to actually sit and write. I know ... I don't have the discipline to paint. And I love doing it. I just never get around to it. *sigh*