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A87965833 - 'Mallrats' - the Film

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: 'Mallrats' - the Film - A87965833
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

A standalone entry about the second film in the View Askewniverse.

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A87965833 - 'Mallrats' - the Film

Post 2

Gnomon - time to move on

After TS inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer

-- you should give TS's full name the first time you refer to him, since TS is rather an odd first name:

After TS Quint inadvertently causes the death of Julie Dwyer

lack of ambition and libido --> lack of both ambition and libido

For "belonging to TS" you have both TS' and TS's. I prefer TS's but I know others insist it should be TS'. Decide on one.

TS's ex-ex-girlfriend - does this mean she is no longer his ex and is now his girlfriend? Or do you mean she was his girlfriend long ago.

Gill Hicks, Game Show contest -- should that be contestant?

to have the main characters in their late teens, include frontal female nudity and cut out the swearing

-- this would be better if you put "to" before each of the three things he had to do:

to have the main characters in their late teens, to include frontal female nudity and to cut out the swearing.

Universal also insisted that it was impossible to make the film for less than $6 million, which when Smith said that he had made Clerks for 0.46% of that budget, he was told that had Universal bought the rights to Clerks they would have reshot and refilmed his debut film.
-- this is too long. Split it:

Universal also insisted that it was impossible to make the film for less than $6 million. When Smith said that he had made Clerks for 0.46% of that budget, he was told that had Universal bought the rights to Clerks they would have reshot and refilmed his debut film.

arranging for the Governor to visit the school -- is this the School Governor, the State Governor or what?

wanting to recast both Silent Bob and Jay, who they wanted to replace with Seth Green -- was Seth Green going to play both parts as two people or were the two roles being combined into a single character?

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene, however he was forced to give her a smaller role
-- incorrect use of 'however'. You could replace it with 'but':

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene, but he was forced to give her a smaller role

or leave it as however:

Smith had originally cast Joey Lauren Adams as Rene. He was forced to give her a smaller role, however,

Although filmed in a genuine shopping centre, the Eden Prairie Center in Minneapolis, there were a lot of vacant shops that were able to be repurposed for filming.
-- this doesn't work quite right. I think what you mean is:

Although filmed in a genuine shopping centre, the Eden Prairie Center in Minneapolis, the shops used for filming were created by repurposing vacant shops within the centre.

When the Mallrats was in post-production -->
When Mallrats was in post-production

making giving them more to do -->
giving them more to do

hair-brained --> hare-brained

Batmanlike helmet and winged-cloak -->
Batman-like helmet and winged cloak

smiley - smiley G



A87965833 - 'Mallrats' - the Film

Post 3

Bluebottle

smiley - ta Yep, I've made those changes now.smiley - ok

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A87965833 - 'Mallrats' - the Film

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