A Conversation for Sea Wings 2000 - A Unique Airshow

Peer Review: A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 1

Bluebottle

Entry: Sea Wings 2000 - A433658
Author: Bluebottle - U43530

On 4th June 2000 I, along with my then girlfriend and some friends, attended the Sea Wings 2000 air show in Southampton. As described in A71766606 I started writing an article about it, but never finished due to computer problems. Last year I recovered the file I had started, and a couple of weeks ago I found my copy of the programme whilst looking for something else in the attic, which I had assumed had been thrown away. So using my 11 year old memory, the programme (which I remember was not quite accurate as there had been several changes due to weather conditions) and the poor, hazy photos that I had taken, I was finally able to finish this article.
As far as I can tell, no-one else has written about it. The official website no longer exists and there's not even anything about it on Wikipedia.

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 2

h5ringer

I've had a quick skim through this <BB<, but I'm not really in a position to comment on the content.

You mention that there was a Sea Wings event in 1998. Have there been any others subsequent to 2000? Should be mentioned if there have been.

Not clear why the Red Arrows section is in a series of paragraphs describing aircraft types.

Minor typos:

smiley - modAt the beginning of the last paragraph of the Tribute to Flight Lieutenant Nicholson section: <<*Fortunately* by September 1941...>>

smiley - mod<>

smiley - mod<>

smiley - mod<> 30 November and 1 December, 1940

Too soon to be picky really, but I'm playing a short hand smiley - laugh

smiley - winkeye


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 3

Bluebottle

Hello

Thanks – good points made. I've corrected the spellings and I'll try to clarify the other two points you made. I also love the use of the smiley - mod smiley. I wish I could rename this article Sea Wings 2smiley - modsmiley - modsmiley - mod

smiley - modYou mention that there was a Sea Wings event in 1998. Have there been any others subsequent to 2000? Should be mentioned if there have been.
smiley - biroI've reworded things to make it clear that the event in 1998 was only a promotion to get some publicity for the upcoming Sea Wings 2000 event in 2000. This was a Millennium celebration event to celebrate the role Southampton has played in the development of the aircraft in the previous century, and has not been held before or since. Sadly the promotional event in 1998 got more publicity than anyone wanted when the flying boat that the dignitaries were on sank and the Mayor of Southampton drowned.

smiley - modNot clear why the Red Arrows section is in a series of paragraphs describing aircraft types.
smiley - biroI've tried to make it clearer that the section describes the fly pasts and air displays that took place. The event had 2 halves – the wet planes, that flew over and landed on Southampton Water, and the dry planes, that flew over Southampton Water without landing, some of which did little air displays, others just flew past.

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 4

h5ringer

smiley - ok


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 5

Bluebottle

Any comments?

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 6

bobstafford

No <BB< it looks fine smiley - ok


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 7

broelan

>>It seems like the section "The Role of Southampton in the Development of the Aircraft" says something very similar to the last paragraph of the intro before the header, with slightly more detail.

>>"The aircraft had been constructed a few miles south, in Supermarine's Headquarters on the Itchen River at Woolston, Southampton that the first Spitfires were built." Sentence doesn't sound quite right.

>>"and 3,0652 incendiary bombs" I'm not sure if this is supposed to be 3,xxx and there's an extra digit in there, or if it's 30,xxx and the comma is misplaced.

Very detailed! Either you have an excellent memory or you made excellent notes the first time around (or both!) I've never seen an airshow, though we have one here annually, and this makes me think I'm missing quite the spectacle!


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 8

Bluebottle

I've corrected the comma and deleted the last sentance before the 'Role of Southampton' header to prevent the repetition and split that sentance about Supermarine's headquarters into two to make it read better.

Thanks for your comments - hope you enjoy the airshow and don't have rain!

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 9

Bluebottle

Any other comments?

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 10

Bluebottle

Any at all?

<BB<


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 11

Z

I think it would be nice if the title reflected the fact that this was an airshow. Or perhaps gave a hint of why someone would want to read about an air show so many years ago..?


A433658 - Sea Wings 2000

Post 12

Bluebottle

Good point - title ammended.

<BB<


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 13

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

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Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 14

Lanzababy - Guide Editor

Congratulations bluebottle smiley - applause


smiley - cheers


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 15

Bluebottle

I was beginning to wonder whether this one was doomed to spend all eternity in Peer Review smiley - winkeye

<BB<


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Recommended for the Edited Guide!

Post 16

lil ~ Auntie Giggles with added login ~ returned


Well done, BB smiley - applausesmiley - bubbly


lil xx


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