A Brief History Of The Restite Kingdom

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A stone slab with a crown on it


In 1050 a small kingdom arose, near the island of Britania on the Restite island, and with peaceful means and generosity became a very large kingdom. The Kingdoms success was due to one factor, its army of flying pigs and its noble knights who defended the kindom over the years from attacks. The Normans, the Saxons, (Elizabeth, Charles, James, William, Victoria) and The Britons, (Napoleon) and the French, (Kaiser Wilhelm 2, Hitler) and the Germans. All made attempts to conquer this noble island which were quickly thwarted.

The glorious restite kings never became angry, they never retaliated, they just enjoyed life and defended their Kingdom.


Snuffold, 1050 - 1100

Snuffold II, 1100 - 1150

Parifitold, 1150 - 1210

Snuffold III, 1210 - 1211

Pennificus, 1211 - 1260

Parifitold II, 1260 - 1320

Pennificus II, 1320 - 1390

Pennificus III, 1390 - 1450

Snuffold IV, 1450 - 1500

Brief Commitee Rulership 1500 - 1501

Jalobia, 1501 - 1520

Hermotia, 1520 - 1560

Partifold III 1560 - 1620

Hermotia II 1620 - 1700

Hermotia III 1700 - 1700

Partifold IV 1700 - 1740

Hermotia IV 1740 - 1790

Snuffold V 1790 - 1825

Snuffold VI 1825 - 1830

Wapiticus 1830 - 1860

Hermotia V 1860 - 1900

Tramatia 1900 - 1940

Snuffold VII 1940 - 1941

Detremenis 1941 - 1960

Bartotus 1960 - 1995

Paol or Paul 1995 - Present

More Recent Histories.

King Paol- After the Death of his father in 1995, left him in charge of a vast kingdom and more money than he could possibly think to do with, he continued his fathers quest, to keep the Restite kingdom peaceful, to explore the second and third dimensions (Amatius and Perificus) and to promote the restite beleifs in a peaceful way.

Lil - Lil was sent over to the Restite Kingdom as an ambassador to promote peace with her Thingite homeland in Britain. More unusualy King Paol had prevously been on a Royal Visit to the Thingite territory and had asked the Thingite leaders for Lil (A New Woman to the Political Scene) to be the (Very High Political Position of) ambassador. There are many rumours regarding these events, sparked by Paols wait to choose a queen and Lil's single status.


Fenrir the Wolf A.K.A Black Leopard

The Castle and Island - The Restite castle has over 900 rooms, and has been noted to be the bigest house in the world, with more rooms being added. The Grounds span 20 square miles in each direction.

The island of the Restites is around 500 square miles all of which is owned by the king, however no rent is paid by the inhabitants and many live on the castle grounds. The castle lies in the centre of the island with settlments around it in all directions.

Also to be noted - The castle also lies next to a portal to another dimention, In 1470 King Snuffold the fourth set out to discover where the hundreds of flying pigs used for the Restite Army came from, why they would not live outwith the island, and why they died when captured and taken elsewhere. The explorer Deranthetes was comissioned for this and he discovered a portal to a world inhabited only by flying pigs, thus the army's several million strong number today, it was discovered that the plants which the pigs ate could only and did grow (In this dimention) on Restite Soil, because of the dimentional spill over. It was then discovered that for some evolutionary reason only restites could enter this dimention for long periods of time. This was again because of the dimentional spill over, the plants and a pan dimentional air bubble over the area filled by the restite island, this was also discovered to be the reason for the death of the pigs outwith the island and why the island seems to bounce off arial attacks.

It is not known why the island is like this or whether there is a reason at all.

No magic exists on the island (Again due to the air bubble), this was discovered when a group of Sorcerors in 1560 cursed Partifold the third to die immedietly, and he seemed to be immune. They then tested this by cursing an Englishman in a similar fashion and he dropped down dead. They then thought that perhaps the king only was immune but they soon discovered that those with the Blood of the Restites are Invincible to anything but Old Age and even then they grow to be remarkably old. The same is true for those of non restite blood living in the Restite Island (Until they leave).

Language - Because of their close ties and close proximity to Britain the Restites speak what is generally accepted as English. With very few exceptions:

Restish - English

Snuff, Snuffy, Suffilicious and similar - Snuff is the Restite word for Happy, except it has three stages which can be easily explained Snuff is when one is completely content (But more so than the English meaning), Suffy is when one is even more content and happy, Snuffilicious is when you cannot become more happier. The reason for using different words to the English equivelant is because Snuff means more than the English word and feeling could explain.

Mey, Moo, May - Many restites use this as a way of greeting everyone and saying goodbye. Other Greetings/Goodbyes are May your day be Snuffy, Snuff Day and as popular Restite song said "Mey, Moo, Mey, Have A Snuffilicious Day".

The other dimensions, a few easy tips: Do not even think of entering without talking to the king. Non restites should not enter because of immediete death. Non Royal restites cannot venture more than 20 miles northerly into the dimension they may venture the lands of the flying pigs (Spanning 400 miles south) but no further. Royal restites are the only ones that seem to be able to travel further, the furthest ventured was to the Barotus lands 6000 miles south and the Keyflavel lands 6000 miles north beyond the Cape of death (Named so because every non Royal restite that ever did look at it died immedietly). The White house was built in 1211 by Pennificus because inside lies not only a second dimension but one only entered with a certain stone and Royal Restite Blood. The White house was originally guarded by the Restite Knights, however at this point it was thought that noone could enter, until the two stones were found by Lady Perificus in the early 1980s, a Royal widow of a different restite lineage to the current King's. However both King Paol and Lady Perificus are carry the bloodline of Snuffold the first. Only Two people have ever entered and survived one was Lady Perificus, the other King Paol. The discovery was made in 1995 by king Barotus that a stone was needed to enter (Previously Lady Perificus had one of the stones as a good luck charm) this was discovered as he died within 10 minuites of leaving the 2nd Dimension known as Meyalita officially, but it is known to the locals as Death after Beauty.

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