h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Look at her so hard to resist
Only if I, perhaps, would persist
Very cautiously
Entreating that she
Respond in the way that I wist

We have reached 103 - I have collected them all by author (I think) so if anyone wants the lot e-mail me at [email protected]. They make a rare collection.

Electronically transmitted
Mostly unimportant
Allegedly admitted
Indispensable rant,
Love letters emitted?

Spnsorship

Slavery still reigns supreme – and Blairs outrage is quite obscene,
Pashas, Emirs, Sultans and Kings – all quite sublime
Offload your passport when you arrive
No rights no nothing - how do we survive?
Of course the rules of worldwide trade
Require the help of BA aid
Saudis cannot do no wrong
How is it that they wear camel hobbles nice and strong .
It’s only oil that lets them to speak
Policy lets them slavery keep.

Excuse me for being a goat and butting in

You missed an S

I love what you are all doing here BTW

Sorry - I can't count either

Slavery still reigns supreme – and Blairs outrage is quite obscene,
Pashas, Emirs, Sultans and Kings – all quite sublime
Offload your passport when you arrive
No rights no nothing - how do we survive?
Subjected to unholy rules,
Of course the rules of worldwide trade
Require the help of BA aid
Saudis cannot do no wrong
How is it that they wear camel hobbles nice and strong .
It’s only oil that lets them to speak
Policy lets them slavery keep.

Join us

Jump in and try
Others won't cry
If you make a mistake.
Nothing is at stake
Upskill you'll get
Something you won't regret.

Funny Don’t get Spiked

Funambulists are wont to walk
Untied to circus high wire wires
No one asks them why.
No one sees the danger
You quietly perspire

Do yikers or the minotaurs
Of all these different threads
Take themselves too seriously – may been already said.

Get one odd line by Mr Nick-Em
Edit it and add,
Tell another story – that surely can’t be bad

Some people like to break the rules
Pedantic ones are worst,
Inevitably one doth find
Kind minoturs do not mind
Each to his/hers discerning mind
Don’t one word understand.

- Never deem themselves as bores-
or something else lacks in your do[n]'t -word.

Twice in two rows. The Minotaurs should ban me.

Funny Don’t get Spiked

Funambulists are wont to walk
Untied to circus high wire wires
No one asks them why.
No one sees the danger
You quietly perspire

Do yikers or the minotaurs
Of all these different threads
Not try to understand and then ensure,
Take themselves too seriously – may been already said.

Get one odd line by Mr Nick-Em
Edit it and add,
Tell another story – that surely can’t be bad

Some people like to break the rules
Pedantic ones are worst,
Inevitably one doth find
Kind minoturs do not mind
Each to his/hers discerning mind
Don’t one word understand.

Bravo

Bellissima, Bellissimo, you got it all in one!
Regarding what you chose, it turned out to be fun.
As everybody surely knows it's difficult to prove
Very good language skills; words on the move,
Oddly, they often are some sort of pun.

By Abdulraamon Jamiloun (Moroccan) he hasn't got round to getting an identity yet - I am working on it!

Truth

This is something that comes,
Right out of the mouths of children,
Usually hated to confess,
Though nothing is any better,
Hitting the bloody liars face with it.

Putting himself above others
Instead of among sisters and brothers
Our teacher it seems
Uses scorn as he deems
Suitable for us unholy mothers

Another of Abdou's (with permission)

Understanding

Unlike are the people
Nevertheless
Differences should not exist
Each other’s respect must be set up
Regardless of colour belief or else
State of mind is to be wide-opened
To understand each other
And learn to know others better
Nagging is simply awful
Dialogue is always worthwhile
In the worst situations
No matter the problem
Greater becomes the man who understands

Sorry - another by me

Frustrations

Franticly trying my thought to contain,
Reluctant to talk to anyone with distain,
Upset at the people who constantly lie,
Sometimes just thinking ‘twould be better to die.
There are few in this world who deserve respect,
Rather their lies we would like to reject.
And ask to be paid – you’ve got to be daft
Tomorrow – Insh’Allah – at which you’ll be laughed.
In a world which praises the god of ‘free trade’
Only the rich will good fortunes be made.
Nobody cares for the woes of the poor,
Sod off – we don’t care, don’t ask any more.

A combined effort with B'El

Uninventive
Not imaginative
Idea-lacking
Never creative
Spiritless
Prosaic
Insipid
Rundown
Eventless
Dullness

Touché - you post it on the right thread

Uninventive I well might be,
Not imaginative – well let’s see,
Idea-lacking - always a bind
Never creative – I’m out of my mind.
Spiritless – maybe – I’ll just have to think
Prosaic – never – I can’t get the link.
Insipid – invariably - but I don’ care,
Rundown G Dubbya – I never would dare.
Eventless, unless I sign up for Iraq
Dullness – never in Halliburton’s park.

Nice one

Nettiquette is just a part
In daily life it makes a start
Chatting amiably with people of all sorts
Ending hopefully the usage of swords.
Obviously it takes some skill
Never let things go downhill
Embrace all and show good will

Bravo!

Better than many by far
Real poets the both of you are
And witty to boot
Verse that would suit
Ogden Nash, Ezra Pound, or Longfeller

This is getting more and more interesting and more and more complicated. The best thing is that it seems to have remained entirely friendly.

115. Competitions

Compiling a rather useless rhyme,
Often just used to pass the time,
Makes you think – but never mad,
Perhaps it won’t be quite so bad.
Exciting is that this one thread,
Takes all that’s wrote and all that’s said,
In just the same way that it’s written,
Toes not trod on – no one bitten.
I add for nothing, but my pleasure,
Only to hope that someone’s leisure,
Need not to be put in blight
So caref’ly I try to write.

Sleepy

Shall we curl up
Like a dog and her pup,
Eyes closed, dreams,even sleep,
Escaping reality, in embraces deep;
Pretending a safety that isn't there,
Yet not forgetting the now, who and where?