h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Touché

There are times that you say things you do not mean,
Others take them as not what they seem
Until someone who is very pretty
Catches you out with a witty ditty
“Hell’s teeth”, you think – I cannot write
Each verse becomes just one more fight.

'Hell's Teeth'!!! love it!!!! *bows in profound respect for your vocabulary and grand old turns of phrase*

I'm gonna have to use that at least three times in conversation by friday I think!


fun

Frivolous laughter
Unfettered giggling free
Not to be put down

(acrostic hai-ku ;-P)

Hokku or haiku

Have you heard of a three lined Japanese verse,
Or can there really be anything worse,
Kireji instead of good punctuation,
Killing all chance of annunciation,
Unless you can follow the Japanes way
Onji are symbols for words they do say,
Randomly used - but the poem conform,
Haiku – John Johnson’s accredited norm.
And after you’ve read them, just what do you do?
I have a stiff drink and then go to the loo.
Kitsch is really far too polite,
Unless you just say ‘on your bike’.

Gordon Bennet - my computer tells me that that was my 100th Acrostic - I must find something meaningful to do!!

yeah, but it was worthy of a century of poems of a specific nature... Quite an epic! lol

sad

Silly we are,
And foolish too
Doing poetry for no reason...

Sorry - I couldn't resist it!

Sad
Some people from the northern climes,
Abhor the thought of winter times,
Devoid of light, their health declines

SAD

Sing along, everyone:
"All is is bright and good!"
Do you really believe this crap?

Sorry...
Y.

Belief

Believe in what – in promonitions?
Endless lies from politicians?
Listen to raving rant
Intoned by clerics – all is cant.
Even the musing of the seers,
Forget it all – we have no peers.

Peers

People saying they are just like me
Even though this could hardly be
Everyone is unique
Relatively I speak
Still, some look and act similarly


Piers

Park any boat next to these
In summer, fish off them if you please
Every chance that you get
Run, dive and get wet
Sunbathe on them, cooled by the breeze

Welcome back.

Hee hee! busy night eh?

Squirrel

Stopping, starting, jump and spin!
Queries all and everything
Up in trees and 'cross the ground
In a scurry or a bound
Running here and running there
Running, jumping, like a hare!
Easter time they re-emerge
'Long with springs' great final surge.

(ok, maybe not strictly accurate...)

only me left

Only I am left wandring
North or south there's only me.
Lonely yes, but peaceful
Yawning calm, an eery quality
Moving around looking for poems
Ethereal art from other's minds
Lyrical or freeform
Every one expressed diff'rently
For tis the nature of the art
To build it as you see.

For some reason this took a long time to write:

Cleveland Bay

Chapman horses, from the Yorkshire Dales,
Lugging the wares from monastic sales,
Evolving as pedlars’ preferred transport,
Very good mannered and easily taught,
Exceptionally strong and elegant to,
Leading gentlemen’s coaches two by two,
As the car came along, they began to decline,
“No way” said my grandpa, “you’re not taking mine”.
Doing his rounds in the Devonshire lanes,
By most people seen as completely insane,
And my job was just to clean the mare’s stable
You get better veggies to put on the table?

Practical Jokes

Placing a mouse in your sister’s car
Reading aloud in your local bar,
Apple-pie beds for your dear little brother
Cut off one of the legs of the chair of your mother
Take the wheels off the baby’s pram,
Insert a cockroach in the jam,
Cover your neighbour’s chimneystack,
Affixing there a dampened sack,
Loosen all the house door locks,
Jack up dad’s car and place on blocks,
Olive oil placed in grandma’s tea,
Keyholes fill with Super-Glue-Three,
Extract the wires from all the sockets,
Sew fishhooks inside grandpa’s pockets.

ouch! fish hooks? that's mean! very nice work though ped, lovely and readable.

Insecure

I am not very sure of myself
Not very certain at all
Safety would seem to be missing here
Everyone else is having a ball.
Can you maybe help me
Understand why I'm concerned
Really help me figure it out
Everyone else seems to have learned!

Welcome back - I did once work with a man in the middle east who assumed that everyone was a pickpocket and he did actually sew fishhooks inside his pockets. As far as I know, the only person that he ever actually caught was himself.

Lesson

Learn to unlearn – unclutter your brain,
Expect the unexpected,
Surprise strategy – risk management gain,
Some say the two are connected,
Open your mind to ideas quite insane,
No concept should be rejected.

Hmm.. interesting. And the chap you mention sounds a little paranoid and somewhat vengeful... I'd be happy enough knowing there was nothing there for them to steal, myself!

Worried

Eventing

Eventing's a game for the rich
Vatever the rake of the pitch (
Enter the fray after dressage day
Now try not to fall in the ditch
There are logs as big as a truck
Inciting your gods and some luck
Now jump it and pray and
Get round ok, then all that's left is show-jumping

Hmm.. interesting. And the chap you mention sounds a little paranoid and somewhat vengeful... I'd be happy enough knowing there was nothing there for them to steal, myself!


Eventing

Eventing's a game for the rich
Vatever the rake of the pitch (
Enter the fray after dressage day
Now try not to fall in the ditch
There are logs as big as a truck
Inciting your gods and some luck
Now jump it and pray and
Get round ok, then all that's left is show-jumping

Sorry - I haven't got one ready and have too much 'work' to finish by the weekend - so someone else have a go. There are far too many from me anyway!

*shock* how dare you ped! lol... It's ok, I'll survive here by myself while you 'work'...

What ped says he's doing
Only he's actually drinking lovely coffee
Really eating dark chocolate dipped in the coffee
K, I'm jealous