The obligatory sappy poem
Created | Updated May 30, 2005
The obligatory sappy poem
If you can't stand this sort of thing, then it's probably your turn to read some of this dreck. If you like this sort of thing, leave, and never darken my towels again!
If I never loved you:
a poem of reality and a spoiled fantasy.
If I never loved you
If I had never cared
If I had never done your laundry
and hung your undies in the air,
I would never have learned
how much I hate purple butterflies,
how much I really like a bathroom to myself,
how much I like a lav drain free of your hair.
If I never loved you
If I had never felt a thing
If I hadn't learned to undo your bra
with one hand,
I would never have learned that
I don't like Chanel #5 in my mouth,
I don't like stockings over the shower curtain bar,
I don't like having to explain commercials.
If I never loved you,
If I had never gotten lost in your thighs,
If I had never met your family when I was drunk
and had had no warning,
I would never have learned
how to hide my feelings with a smile,
how to say,"That's all right, we'll get another one",
how to avoid your mother like the plague.
If I never loved you
If I had never almost not survived you
If I had not spent a decade being educated
I would never have learned
how grateful I am that I had this opportunity
how wonderful it is that I have made it through intact
how sweet the words "good bye" taste.