h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: The Irish War of Independence - A4111886
Author: Captain LeRue- Not really running at all... anywhere.... ever again. - U801685

An important chapter in Irish history.

Comments welcome, but be gentle..... I bruise like a peach.

Been looking forward to this Cap'n

Some grammatical bits -

While in prison more people1 - this should be Whilst in prison

Surely Michael Collins emigrated to London.

It seems a little - short, I think it needs a bit more meat on it.

Nice and clear though, which might be harder to maintain with more detail.

I'll see if I can add some more stuff on.

Hi, Captain LeRue!

I like the overall length and amount of detail--I think the entry is highly readable. There a just two places where I think a bit more detail would help, at the beginning and the end.

The beginning:
I think you should mention the number of internees involved. I know you give it in the 1916 entry you reference, but figures are harder to keep in mind from one entry to another than general ideas are, so it would be worth putting that in here too.

The end:
You stop at the ceasefire, but I think you should continue up to the signing of the Treaty. The fact that neither side got what they really wanted had a huge influence on Irish history since then.

Have a look at the Edited Entry A707906 A (Very) Brief History of Ireland--you'll see that it goes into some detail on this, even thought the whole entry is not very long for what it covers.


Azara (another Irish researcher!)

The reason I stoped at the Ceasfire is that that was the end of the War of Independence, personally I feel the Anglo-Irish treaty is part of the Civil War and hopefully *crosses fingers* I will get around to doing The Civil War, thereby finishing my trilogy.

Bang on about the amount of internees.

All right finally got around to adding stuff to it.

Another really good Entry. You absolutely have to do the Civil War one now. I'm already intrigued to see how you're going to tell it.

Azara suggested you should take this second Entry up to the signing of the Treaty in December 1921, and I think it might be easier if you heeded the advice. That way, you could bring in the differences between De Valera and Collins in this Entry, setting the scene for the final one.

Maybe some links to internet biographies of the protagonists would also help? At this point of the story, the personalities behind the events become important to the understanding of what happened.

Just a thought - you tell it your way, because you're doing a fine job. This part of history is a major gap in the Edited Guide. It's great to see it on the way to being filled, and with such a well-constructed, readable and informative account.

Pin

Yah I'll bring it up to the Anglo-Irish treaty. It would help to set the scene to the Civil War.

I'll check out a few links for it aswell.

Allright got links for Dev and Collins and should have the treaty written up tomorrow at some time.

Allright The Treaty is written up.

A spell-checker would point up most typos -- for instance most of your parentheses start without a space after the previous word like(this).

Such an article as this can never be "balanced" -- the inquiring reader will look first at how Collins is characterised. I'd class that item here as "faint praise".

Berehaven needs an n.

Interesting to see variety in the dates given for Kilmichael; certain sites give 21 Nov, confusing it with Bloody Sunday; one gives it as the 20th. I heard the song sung by Willie Brady, and as I recall he began "On the 18th day of November".

Well Kilmichael was the scene of various ambushes.

As a fellow Corkonian, I may be a tiny bit "biased" to Collins.

Well you could show it by elaborating on the fact that he worked as a Post Office clerk -- that's what he did at the age of 15.

http://michaelcollins.warnerbros.com/cmp/biography.html says "In July 1906, at the age of 15, Michael Collins emigrated to London where he worked as a boy clerk in West Kensington Post Office. He quickly found his feet in the strong Irish community in London. He joined the Gaelic Athletic Association(GAA), the Gaelic League, which promoted the revival of the Irish language, and Sinn Fein. In November 1909 he was inducted into the Irish Republican Brotherhood (IRB). At this time the IRB was in decline, but the failure of the Irish Parliamentary Party (IPP) to achieve Home Rule through constitutional means attracted younger members to the organisation. Shortly after joining the IRB Michael left the Post Office and took up a post with a stockbroking company and later he worked in the Whitehall Labour Exchange. Finally, before returning to Ireland, he worked briefly with an American firm, the Guaranty Trust Company."

He was more than a clerk, he was by all accounts (ahem) a brilliant accountant, and kept the business side of the War of Independence in excellent order.

I was atempting to keep the entry at a reasonable length and I could go on all day about the National Loan and Collins the accountant.

If you feel that there really is need to elaborate on that part of the entry then I will do it.

All I suggest is changing "worked as a Post Office clerk" to "worked in the Post Office and became an accountant" or some such. Even "an outstanding accountant."

Done.

Looking even better now with the Treaty explanation rounding it out, and setting up the Civil War Entry.

This is a bump, really

...but you might like to take out the first header (since it just replicates the title), and also there's a '21sh' that should be '21st' in the first paragraph.

Ooops.

Fixed.

Still some typos. The end part:

>Lord Birkenhead said to Michael Collins as he signed the treaty that he was signing his political death warrant. Collins replied;

"I am signing my actual death warrant."

-- after "replied" it should be a colon or a comma, not a semicolon. Putting Collins's answer in a blockquote heightens the dramatic effect but I don't think it is elegant; even italics is too much in my view. It should simply continue the sentence. See Guidelines about double or single quotes.

>This would later prove to be true. This treaty tore Irish opinion, some were tired of war and were pro treaty, some look on at disdain and were anti treaty. It was slowely moving towards Civil War.

tore --> violently divided
pro treaty --> pro-treaty
some look on at disdain --> some looked on with disdain (or better: others refused to accept the terms)
anti treaty --> anti-treaty
It was --> The country was
slowely --> slowly