Pensacola, Florida Paradise on The Back Burner
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Paradise on Low Heat
Pensacola, Florida on the northwest Gulf of Mexico has the most magnificent sugar white beaches in North America. As a tourist destination it's still relatively undiscovered and consequently a bargain as far as prices go. Most tourists arrive from Louisiana, Mississippi, and Tennessee. It's sometimes referred to as "The Redneck Riviera." Canadians and Germans comprise the majority of foreign visitors. But Pensacola's summer is hot. July and August are hot like hell and humid too. Picture, if you will, a bug living under a hot damp rag. May and October offer the best weather. Regardless of the weather, the beaches and rivers are always impressive. Pensacola's a treat to visit. But wait, there are the people.
Mighty Good Folk Once Ya Git Past Jesus
Pensacola's people are not run-of-the-mill Americans however. Sure there's the ubiquitous plethora of fast food places, malls, an interstate highway, and three or four television stations. But these mind-numbing pervasive tentacles of Americana have as yet failed to stamp out old regional characteristics in Pensacola. First it's still Southern. Charmingly so. Natives speak with a most pleasing drawl--a sort of antithesis of that hard nasal English as spoken in New York City. And they're civil and exceptionally friendly people. If a motorist honks his horn everyone knows immediately that he's from out of town and the rudeness is forgiven. Young people still say "Yessir and Yes ma'am" as often as not. But it's somewhat backwards, atrasado - as the Spanish say. Pensacola is like the rest of America was 30 or 40 years ago. Take the matter of black people. Most black folks "stay in their place." Young people are affecting positive changes, but those past 40 live divided. Black people who join the armed services or who spend time in other parts of America seldom return to live in Pensacola. Fundamental Protestantism is a huge albatross around the city's neck. Fully 60% of the city attends church regularly. Boys can be seen wearing ball caps with logos of crosses and "Jesus Saves." and t-shirts depicting Christ's bleeding heart swathed in thorns. Billboards, bumper stickers, and signs often bloodily and garishly display anti-abortionist messages even photos of aborted fetuses. Gynecological clinics that offer abortion services have been bombed and their doctors shot down in broad daylight on the streets of Pensacola. On weekends preachers routinely preach from intersections, waving bibles and shouting hoarse biblical admonitions at motorists "Get right with God or burn in the everlasting pit of fire!" Folks often place signs in their gardens or bumper stickers on their cars quoting Bible verses. "A virtuous woman is a jewel in her husband's crown," proclaimed one sign in a front yard. Last year a family drove 600 miles from down state with the corpse of their son to an ongoing revival church in Pensacola which offered to try to raise the dead. Religion in Pensacola is medieval and downright frightening. Still its people are among the friendliest encountered anywhere.
The Schools Suck
Parents challenge schools which dare to teach "the theory of" evolution. Federal rules, which prohibit public prayer in schools, are openly flaunted at sports activities and meetings. The school system is poorly mismanaged by a comic opera school board, which needs only seltzer bottles and rubber noses to complete the picture. Pensacola's dustmen and waitresses earn more than do its schoolteachers. Schools are in shambles. This sorry state of its schools, more than anything else, prevents corporations and out of area businesses from seriously considering Pensacola as a place to build new facilities. Corporate managers would be reluctant to send their sons and daughters into overcrowded student warehouses. The fact that Pensacola's University of West Florida sometimes is referred to as "Gospel U" just about says it all.
Rich, Silent Puppet Masters
For the United States it's an old place. Spanish settlers arrived in 1559. Scarcely anything remains of the Spanish influence save the names of a few streets. For those early Spaniards Pensacola was a hardship post and penal colony. In l821 the Americans took over -- big time. Except for the four years of America's Civil War, it's been a city whose economy is heavily dependent upon the United States Navy's presence. Past fortunes made were in timber and fishing in early part of the 20th century. It's believed by many that the old money from these fortunes quietly rules the city. Except for a couple of flamboyant professionals, the big money in Pensacola is very quiet and works silently. Pensacola's fat cats spend and play away from their nests. One theory is that this tiny plutocrat minority winks at the Savanorola fundamentalists and turns a blind eye to the pitifully inept schools in order to keep their hometown quaint and undisturbed. Big fish, small pond. Consequently wages and salaries are low. A carpenter or electrician earns an average of about $9.00/hour. Ironically, this bodes well for the traveler, since rents and food are quite reasonable.
Pensacola -- it's a great place to visit but you might not want to live or work there.
Pensacola, Florida on the northwest Gulf of Mexico has the most magnificent sugar white beaches in North America. As a tourist destination it's still relatively undiscovered and consequently a bargain as far as prices go. Most tourists arrive from Louisiana, Mississippi, and Tennessee. It's sometimes referred to as "The Redneck Riviera." Canadians and Germans comprise the majority of foreign visitors. But Pensacola's summer is hot. July and August are hot like hell and humid too. Picture, if you will, a bug living under a hot damp rag. May and October offer the best weather. Regardless of the weather, the beaches and rivers are always impressive. Pensacola's a treat to visit. But wait, there are the people.
Mighty Good Folk Once Ya Git Past Jesus
Pensacola's people are not run-of-the-mill Americans however. Sure there's the ubiquitous plethora of fast food places, malls, an interstate highway, and three or four television stations. But these mind-numbing pervasive tentacles of Americana have as yet failed to stamp out old regional characteristics in Pensacola. First it's still Southern. Charmingly so. Natives speak with a most pleasing drawl--a sort of antithesis of that hard nasal English as spoken in New York City. And they're civil and exceptionally friendly people. If a motorist honks his horn everyone knows immediately that he's from out of town and the rudeness is forgiven. Young people still say "Yessir and Yes ma'am" as often as not. But it's somewhat backwards, atrasado - as the Spanish say. Pensacola is like the rest of America was 30 or 40 years ago. Take the matter of black people. Most black folks "stay in their place." Young people are affecting positive changes, but those past 40 live divided. Black people who join the armed services or who spend time in other parts of America seldom return to live in Pensacola. Fundamental Protestantism is a huge albatross around the city's neck. Fully 60% of the city attends church regularly. Boys can be seen wearing ball caps with logos of crosses and "Jesus Saves." and t-shirts depicting Christ's bleeding heart swathed in thorns. Billboards, bumper stickers, and signs often bloodily and garishly display anti-abortionist messages even photos of aborted fetuses. Gynecological clinics that offer abortion services have been bombed and their doctors shot down in broad daylight on the streets of Pensacola. On weekends preachers routinely preach from intersections, waving bibles and shouting hoarse biblical admonitions at motorists "Get right with God or burn in the everlasting pit of fire!" Folks often place signs in their gardens or bumper stickers on their cars quoting Bible verses. "A virtuous woman is a jewel in her husband's crown," proclaimed one sign in a front yard. Last year a family drove 600 miles from down state with the corpse of their son to an ongoing revival church in Pensacola which offered to try to raise the dead. Religion in Pensacola is medieval and downright frightening. Still its people are among the friendliest encountered anywhere.
The Schools Suck
Parents challenge schools which dare to teach "the theory of" evolution. Federal rules, which prohibit public prayer in schools, are openly flaunted at sports activities and meetings. The school system is poorly mismanaged by a comic opera school board, which needs only seltzer bottles and rubber noses to complete the picture. Pensacola's dustmen and waitresses earn more than do its schoolteachers. Schools are in shambles. This sorry state of its schools, more than anything else, prevents corporations and out of area businesses from seriously considering Pensacola as a place to build new facilities. Corporate managers would be reluctant to send their sons and daughters into overcrowded student warehouses. The fact that Pensacola's University of West Florida sometimes is referred to as "Gospel U" just about says it all.
Rich, Silent Puppet Masters
For the United States it's an old place. Spanish settlers arrived in 1559. Scarcely anything remains of the Spanish influence save the names of a few streets. For those early Spaniards Pensacola was a hardship post and penal colony. In l821 the Americans took over -- big time. Except for the four years of America's Civil War, it's been a city whose economy is heavily dependent upon the United States Navy's presence. Past fortunes made were in timber and fishing in early part of the 20th century. It's believed by many that the old money from these fortunes quietly rules the city. Except for a couple of flamboyant professionals, the big money in Pensacola is very quiet and works silently. Pensacola's fat cats spend and play away from their nests. One theory is that this tiny plutocrat minority winks at the Savanorola fundamentalists and turns a blind eye to the pitifully inept schools in order to keep their hometown quaint and undisturbed. Big fish, small pond. Consequently wages and salaries are low. A carpenter or electrician earns an average of about $9.00/hour. Ironically, this bodes well for the traveler, since rents and food are quite reasonable.
Pensacola -- it's a great place to visit but you might not want to live or work there.
