Vogon poetry. GAHH! AVERT YOUR EYES!!

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Vogon poetry is the third worst in the universe. It's not an "acquired taste". It's just plain bad.
I can't show you any poetry worse than that because it would make your eyes melt out of their sockets. They write it to torture their victims and use electritionic enhancers to make it agonizingly painful for the audience.

Here is a sample. The squeamish should go to a more light-hearted entry, Like one on open heart surgery,

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly...? thy micturations are to me/ as plurded gabbleblocits on a lurgid bee. And hooptiously drangel me with crnkly bindelwurdels,/ or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurgelcrunceon, see if I don't!"

I think I just threw up all over the keyboard.

By now half of you reading this have lost whatever grip on sanity you had left, because I certainly have. So I'll end quickly. Never let a vogon read poetry too you. Ever. Never in a million years . Just don't even read
the entry. It's too horrible to read. I can't even believe I wrote the entry it's so horrible.
But if you ever do get read vogon poetry, here's what to do if you plan to survive. Don't ever say you enjoyed it. This will only make it worse. They could throw you out of the airlock. Or even read you more poetry! In fact the best thing to do when facing a vogon poet is to pretend you died, then when they pull you out of the poetry appreciation chair, punch them in the nose. Since vogons were originally designed to live underwater, the nose has been surgically altered for for survival on land. This makes them very sensitive. when they drop you, make a run for the escape pods. Vogons can run as fast as a snail in peanut butter. in other words, they are really slow. So get to the escape pod and get the heck out of there. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go run away from angry alein poets. Don't Panic!

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