SPAM
Created | Updated Apr 17, 2002
I can't imagine the sort of mind that has subjected the human race to the unjust suffering it has gone through during the lowest of the lows in time. You finally get to meal time after a long days work trying to dodge the bombs in wartime London raining down around you to sit down to a table adorned by, a candle if you're lucky, and a little shiny tin. To your utter disgust when you slowly peel back the tin lid, ( if you get to that stage, because you normally need a little key which they just happen to forget to supply you with) to reveal a small gelatinous glob of pinkish, other colour-ish "meat" probably containing every type of extinct and non-extinct species nasty bits and bobs found within the deepest, darkest, stickiest, most foul smelling parts of the beasts. Then after you come around after subduing to the foul stench of the glob of meat, you then have to eat the damn thing.
Now this is not for the faint hearted, but you need to be told......
THE TRUTH. You start by attempting to spear the 'glob' with any sharp utensil to hand, then as it tries to leap for freedom, you have to jiggle it into your mouth.....and then......SWALLOW!!! Then after years of eating the stuff you find out that SPAM (Scientifically Processed Animal Matter) was never meant for humans, but for all the dogs on the street that didn't have owners, so they made something containing the cheapest ingredients possible, then you wonder why you never saw any of those strange shaped rubbery organs in your biology text books!