You are walking one of the myriad pathways of the H2G2 universe. Suddenly, the tones of oriental music catch your ear. You follow an ancient mud-wall, untill you reach an open, dilapidated wooden gate, put in an arch made of bricks.

On top of the arch, a name-plate made of white and blue ceramic pieces with arabesque writing rests. The writing writhes for a moment then shows:

Chaii-Khaneye Iranzamin
Khosh Amdadid

And then writhes again to show:

Iranzamin Teahouse
Be Welcome

Inside, it looks as if Reality has difficulty to decide between a multitude of historical and architectural styles. The floor is stone - ancient, well-worn stone which looks as if thousands of generations have walked upon it. In the middle of the floor, an imbedded ghanat¹ appears, after a few steps widening into a small shallow pool in the exact center of the room. Inside the Pool, different kinds of mellons and corbs full of fruits are chilling. Between them, you can see small red koi and other small fish darting around. The pool then changes back into the ghanat, which disappears a few steps towards you beneath the floor.

From the floor and from bases hewn of the same kind of stone, columns rise, turning into brick form and arching out to turn the ceiling into a multitude domes, in the center of each, a beautiful bronze lampshade hangs. The ceiling itself finally lowers towards the walls.

The walls rise out of the stone, forming niches, varying in size, from shallow ones just deep enough for a person to stretch out and sleep, to ones deep enough for six to eight people to sit back against the walls in tailor-seat, and enough space in their middle to place cups and plates. The niches are covered with old, soft carpets, while thick carpet-covered cushions offer a resting place for a weary back.

Behind the cushions, ceramic tiles peak out, but only in the space between the niches can you truly admire the colors and the intricacies of the convoluted arabesque writing. Above the tiles, the walls are covered in chalk, on which, in the niches, beautiful women playing musical intruments or pouring wine have been painted. On your right side, a single wide but shallow niche goes down to the floor and holds a large Tapestry, ready for Pardehkhani².

On the floor in front of the tapestry, a large carpet lies, surrounded by wooden benches, ready for those who are interested in this kind of entertainment. The rest of the space around the pool is filled with simple wooden tables, covered with "Ghalamkar"³ cloth. The chairs seem to be old and rickety, but up close you can see the fading painted decoration on the honey-colored wood.

Finally, right in front of you, on the far side of the pool, there is a niche with walls covered in simple white ceramic tiles. A gigantic golden-colored samowar stands on a pedestal surrounded by drinking implements and sweeteners⁴, and several beautifully worked wood and glass "ghalioon"⁵ stand ready for use, as do small bowls of seasonal fruit.

As you come closer - circumventing the pool - you can see several announcements on plain white paper, duct-taped to the tiles around the samowar:

HELP WANTED!
1 OR 2 WAITERS OF MIDDLE-EASTERN EXTRACTION NEEDED
COOK/BAKER WITH KNOWLEDGE OF IRANIAN DISHES NEEDED

SNACKS WILL BE SERVED

PRIVATE PARTIES/CONVERSATIONS WILL BE RELOCATED TO THE NICHES.
THE HOSTESS