h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*a thin black line of trans-thread portal opens up rotates 90 deg and deposits a semi-concious Red Dog into the thread. Red's ectoplasmic spook armour is shorting out all over and his Hero-in-Trouble (HIT) beacon starts playing a pre-recorded mayday message*

"Dreadfully sorry about this but I appear to have had a spot of bother with life and I'm wondering whether there is someone in the vicinity who could toddle along and help out. I know it's a frightful bore but we can't let the bad guys make whoopee out of this can we ?*

~starts repeating on a loop~

*Elsewhere, the Dewey Demon is surprised to hear a buzzing in his cardigan pocket. Confused, he pulls out a small electronic thingummy, covered with fluff, which he recognises as his CHOPPERS signal device, unused for quite some time.*

"Oh. Um..."

*Although somewhat out of shape, the Dewey Demon rushes (as fast as he can) to his secret cupboard and changes from his civilian clothing into his traditional super-hero spandex (including, of course, his trusty spandex cardigan), which doesn't fit quite as happily as it used to, and displays all sorts of excess poundage. Activating the teleportation device, he beams himself to CHOPPERS HQ.*

"Hello! Anyone here?"

*A slightly tinny voice can be heard from a nearby room. Peering round the door, the Dewey Demon sees Red Dog on the floor and rushes over. His limited first aid training tells him not to touch someone with armour shorting out, lest he suffer electric shock, but beyond that he doesn't quite know what to do.*

"Are you OK there, Mr Dog? Can you hear me?"

a shower of sparks arcs out from suit and the whine of overloaded portable field generators fades out. A crack in the suit face-plate appears together with a small hiss of expelled hot air. The suit visor slowly retracts and within the helmet a single red eye opens*

Oh hi DD

So what have you been up to for the last few years ? How goes the conflict with STUMPED ? Anything need thwarting ?