Stopping a Nose Bleed

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Why does the nose bleed.

There comes a time in most people's lives when they suffer a nose

The causes are numerous, and a few are listed below for
  • Exposure to a low humidity environment, such as the Cabin of an
    or Las Vegas, Nevada.
  • Vigorous and frequent removal of dried mucus from inside the
  • Direct, high force impact such as with a Soccer Ball or Elephant's

All of the afore mentioned causes result in weakening of the mucus membranes
directly inside the nose, and a subsequent rupture of blood vessels there in.

Bugger, Its ruining my shirt! How do I make it stop.

1) Bring primary grasping hand to face. Note: If both work equally well, flip a coin.
If you don't have a grasping hand of your own, and your feet lack opposable thumbs,
ask to barrow someone else's hand.

2) Place the primary digit(index finger, if avalable) along a side of the nose where the cartilage meets the bone protruding from the face. Your should now be roughly parallel with your face, pressed at the junction of bone and cartilage. Now place the hand's opposable digit (thumb)
in the same position on the opposite side of the nose.

3) -Grasp(pinch) the two digits(fingers) together, with the nose still in-between. You should be using sufficient force that you are now unable to breath through your nose.

 -Maintain this for 30 to 60 seconds, depending on how well your blood clots.

4) -If this doesn't work on the first attempt, repeat steps 1) - 3) again.

 -You may continue repeating the procedure for some time before you stop bleeding. You should experiment with different levels of pressure and duration of time.

However, if bleeding continues for more than 15-30 minutes, and or you lose more than a quart of blood. SEEK IMMEDIATE MEDICAL ATTENTION.

Note: If you are not a Human, and or are bleeding from some part other than your nose,
do not use this procedure.

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