Augusta, Georgia, USA

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Mid-sized city on the eastern edge of the state of Georgia. Nicknamed "The Garden City," Augusta is quite a pleasant place to visit.

Or, at least it would be, if not for the stench.

Called "Disgusta" by those that have spent any time in the area, Augusta is home to several paper mills, as well as a meat packing plant near downtown, all of which contribute to a highly distinctive odor that any visitor to Augusta will recognize easily.

Adding to Augusta's olfactory charm is the city's sewage treatment plant, which is conveniently located next to the city's main airport. (This was, of course, very much planned by the city government.) Visitors arriving in Augusta are greeted by the aroma of fermenting sludge as soon as they debark, ensuring that newcomers are given a true whiff of Augusta's finest the moment they arrive.

Downtown is marked by a hodgepodge of decrepit skyscrapers - including the Lamar Building, topped by quite an interesting I.M. Pei penthouse which would look much more at home on the Death Star - abandoned storefronts, and trains that run right through the middle of downtown at all hours of the day or night, and most especially during rush hour when commuters are eager to get out of town and return to their homes in neighboring South Carolina.

Augusta is best-known, of course, for the Masters golf tournament, which is just about the only thing Augusta is known for. Visitors would be well-advised to avoid Augusta at all costs during April's Masters Week, when you will be absolutely unable to find a restaurant with an open table in the entire city, bars raise their drink prices, and traffic jams on Washington road are reminiscent of New York gridlock.

Augusta's most famous resident is no doubt James Brown, the "Godfather of Soul," and frequent visitor to Augusta's fine jail facilities.


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