A Conversation for H2G2 Waterworks: The Lifeguard Hut

Soul lifeguards

Post 61

Roasted Amoeba

Now all I need is some drowning females... smiley - smiley


Soul lifeguards

Post 62

Bluebottle

Well, just as long as you don't push them...


Soul lifeguards

Post 63

saffire

haha i dont think he couldsmiley - winkeye
-saffire


Soul lifeguards

Post 64

Roasted Amoeba

Now look here... What exactly do... um... ah yes. You're right.

But I can still give mouth-to-mouth, don't forget!

smiley - smiley


Soul lifeguards

Post 65

Roasted Amoeba

Errr... mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, that was... smiley - smiley


Soul lifeguards

Post 66

Bluebottle

If it's only ressusitation, some of the Venii and other women around here may be disappointed!


Soul lifeguards

Post 67

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Surely that's 'mouth to outer membrane' ressucitation?


Soul lifeguards

Post 68

Bluebottle

Good point...


Soul lifeguards

Post 69

Roasted Amoeba

Now hang on a moment... I thought I made it clear that when there are any females that need saving, I transform into a handsome (human)hunk... smiley - smiley


Soul lifeguards

Post 70

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Now that throws up interesting problems. Where do you get the extra mass required to change from an amoeba (which probably weighs in the order of 0.001 grams to a larger build than average human male weighing in at around 90kg?


Soul lifeguards

Post 71

third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs)

can you be a union life gaurd if you have a current lifegaurd certification?


Soul lifeguards

Post 72

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

You'd have to ask Bluebottle about that.
I'm sure he'd let you.


Soul lifeguards

Post 73

third asst. eng.(deuce of clubs)

cool I could be the guy that races out to save people on a moter boat leaps then helps them to there feet and walks them back.


Soul lifeguards

Post 74

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Is this before or after you drive the boat back to the shore again?


Soul lifeguards

Post 75

Bluebottle

Is that common US Navy procedure I wonder? But okay, you can be part of the team!


Soul lifeguards

Post 76

Roasted Amoeba

The extra mass required to become a human comes from a complex chemical process that transforms purple carrots into human flesh... smiley - smiley


Soul lifeguards

Post 77

><>

glub


Soul lifeguards

Post 78

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

So, erm, you (an amoeba) carry 89.999kg of purple carrots around with you at all times, just in case?


Soul lifeguards

Post 79

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Oh, by the way, Bluebottle, could you make me a lifeguard? I've got the shorts and the orange floaty thing on a string, and my manly pectorals bounce up and down when I run in slow-motion.


Soul lifeguards

Post 80

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Oh, by the way, Bluebottle, could you make me a lifeguard? I've got the shorts and the orange floaty thing on a string, and my manly pectorals bounce up and down when I run in slow-motion.


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