A Conversation for H2G2 Waterworks: The Lifeguard Hut

Be a lifeguard

Post 1

Bluebottle

Do you want to prevent people from drowning? Would you like to give the kiss of life to a bikini-babe or handsome hunk? Then join the Beach & Fountain lifeguards, and be proud to save lives, and look GOOD in a swimsuit!


Be a lifeguard

Post 2

Roasted Amoeba

I'd like to sign up for the bikini-babe option, please. And can I wear one of those silly bright yellow or orange life-jackets please? Or do we wear a special uniform?


Be a lifeguard

Post 3

Bluebottle

Yes, you can wear one of those jackets. So, what job do you want? Sea King pilot? Winch man? Let us know!


Be a lifeguard

Post 4

Roasted Amoeba

I would like the position of "Person Who Wanders Helpfully Around The Beach Waiting For Trouble" ... or is that too long?


Be a lifeguard

Post 5

Bluebottle

No, that sounds about right. Okay, I'll see if I can bung it on the page!


Be a lifeguard

Post 6

Roasted Amoeba

Now hang on a moment... I thought *I* signed up for giving bikini-babes mouth-to-mouth resuscitation? Maybe I didn't emphasise that point enough...

Am I allowed to add that on to my title? Of course, if that's asking too much, I understand.

smiley - smiley


Be a lifeguard

Post 7

Bluebottle

Do you know how long it took me to get you this job??? Oh well, I guess I can let you do the mouth-to-mouth ressusitation.. You might find that hard in your bomb shelter, though...


Be a lifeguard

Post 8

Roasted Amoeba

Ah well, I don't mind leaving my air raid shelter if there's a good reason...


Be a lifeguard

Post 9

Bluebottle

Such as piloting the Sea King?
By the way - here's yiour crackerjack chequebook & pencil, plus Blue Peter Badge.


Be a lifeguard

Post 10

saffire

heyhey- id be plenty happy to give mouthtomouth to these beautiful people you call 'handsome hunks' ... smiley - bigeyes
-saffire


Be a lifeguard

Post 11

Bluebottle

Rest assured the position (!?) is yours! smiley - winkeye


Be a lifeguard

Post 12

saffire

no pun intended of course...................smiley - winkeye


Be a lifeguard

Post 13

Roasted Amoeba

So hopefully, saffire, there should be a fairly equal division of duties here... But how are we going to arrange the free rides in the helicopter?


Be a lifeguard

Post 14

saffire

i say we each get our own personal helicopter...that should make things easiersmiley - smiley
-saffire


Be a lifeguard

Post 15

Roasted Amoeba

That's a good idea... we'll have to petition Bluebottle to give us the money. Or else threaten to go on strike if he doesn't give us our helicopters. smiley - smiley


Be a lifeguard

Post 16

><>

Glub. Glub. Glub.
(waggles fin towards Lifeguards Needed sign)
Glub. Glub. Glub. (Starts playing charades, cleverly giving across the message:
Hi, I'd like to apply to be a lifeguard. Particularly if there's any lovely lady fish stranded on the beach. I'd prefer to give the helicopter rides a miss though. I'm very good at finding sunken bodies, if we fail to save anybody.)
Glub. Glub.

- smiley - fish


Be a lifeguard

Post 17

Roasted Amoeba

Just don't get in my way when I'm busy saving bikini babes, and there won't be any trouble... smiley - smiley


Be a lifeguard

Post 18

saffire

oh yes- and help us get $$$$ for our helicopters even though you wont be using one!
-saffire


Be a lifeguard

Post 19

Peregrin

I'll be a lifeguard if you're desperate for them. I'd be much happier creating accidents so the lifeguards have work to do, though.


Be a lifeguard

Post 20

saffire

well...... it looks like youll only get help if youre a handsome hunksmiley - bigeyes
-saffire


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