Mancunian Blues
Created | Updated Dec 2, 2004
In which The_Jon_M has his head, body, feet and car in the clouds1
I just started to realise how difficult it is to get to Manchester at them moment. At first it looks fine; more motorway miles than any other city, nice ring road, new trains to London, International Airport, but look past that and it seems they are trying to cut off the City.
Lets take the road. This, for the majority of travellers in this country, is the only thing people know. I grew up with people who, up to the age of 12, had never been on a train and this was in a town with trains that made London just an hour away.
Driving from London to Manchester generally will involve using the M6. The M6 has two minor inconveniences. Firstly, it doesn't actually go to Manchester and, secondly, it runs straight through Birmingham. After decades of being stuck in queues of people who have no concept of the length of vowel sounds, they built a road around Birmingham - the M6 Toll Road. Not that this is a new idea. The trains up North have been avoiding Brum (well at least the respectable ones) for years. The powers that be came up with a stunning idea; charge people different amounts depending on what time they are travelling. £1 for a car off-peak and £2 on-peak. However, after driving this road a number of times at very strange and unsociable hours, I noticed that I was always charged £2 and there were no signs saying what off-peak is. I took a guess that off-peak times are the times when nobody is using the toll. So perhaps a massive camera network was set up, so that the tolls were set at £1 until a car got near, then reverted to peak charges. Last time I took this road I noticed that they are now saying which times they will only charge £1 for. If you're interested, it is between 2.45 and 3.12am on the 3rd Tuesday of each month.
Getting near Manchester (especially the South) you need to join the M56 - except that the junction doesn't actually allow you to go onto the M56. You have to take 3 miles of single carriageway A road though Cheshire to make your way between the two Motorways. If you are coming into South Manchester, you also find that most of the roads into South Manchester, especially towards the student areas, are impossible to join from the ring road. Great fun for the thousands of fathers taking their beloveds to university every term.
There is, of course, the option of driving through the Peak District and onto the M1. Through Buxton and Matlock there is an opportunity to marvel at some of the most stunning scenery that this country has to offer. You can't do this, however, since you will spend the 2 hours it takes to make the 60 miles to the M1 looking for ways to pass the Gravel Lorry that is contractually obliged to drive in front of you.
I tried to get over to Sheffield last night, that was fun. The first time I drove over, I made the mistake of following the road signs. You begin to worry as you watch the mileage boards count down. 30 miles, 27 miles, 45 miles. 45 miles??! The signed route to Sheffield over the Woodhead pass takes you somewhere to the North of Sheffield and the less signed Snake Pass takes you nearer to the city. Snake Pass last night has visibility down to about 20 meters in parts. It might have been fog or perhaps god(dess) parked a cloud on the mountain of the evening. We're spending vast amounts of money on blowing up random bits of other people's countries. Can't we keep the cash and just wind up the old Channel Tunnel digging machines, build up a nice motorway underneath the Peaks and save the passes for nice sunny days?
Manchester Airport is now the 2nd busiest airport in the country (apparently). However, the airport charges so much that the low fares carriers are off to Liverpool - an airport that, without a car, takes hours to reach from Manchester. Planes also have a tendency to bump into each other at the airport.
Trains, yikes! Okay we have new trains to London Euston; they make the run quicker and are going to be more frequent. This will be useful since they do not have anywhere near the same amount of seats as the old trains. The Strategic Rail Authority kept wanting competition on the London-Manchester route, so introduced all manner of silly routes from other lines to London Paddington, Waterloo and St Pancreas, mostly via Cardiff and the Isle of Wight. It's hardly competition when the fares are more expensive, the trains are older and more cramped and the journey times are not measured by clocks, but by calendars.
By the time this gets posted, I should be on my way to Glasgow. You'd think that two of the major cities on the West Coast main line would actually have a connecting train serve, but no, about 2 a day. So it's off to spend half an hour in the chill of Preston station.
Why am I moaning about this?
I've seen, in the past week, an idiot get elected by playing to the fears of his electorate, fears relating to a man he failed to catch. He had few polices, just to carry on the ones that are threatening to destroy the world's economy. He mobilised bigots and homophobes, people who think nothing about letting 100,000 Iraqi mothers and babies die in the past year, but are up in arms at the woman's right to stop an unwanted pregnancy. They preach about family values but refuse to let loving couples publicly express their love.
If a brainless, policyless murderer can get the majority of the vote, then surely somebody with ideas can get somewhere?
So here it is, I, The_Jon_M and throwing my hat into the ring, maybe not this election or the next but, dammit, I can do a better job at running a country than some elected leaders, so vote for me!!!
Till next time
Love, peace and blues
tjm
