Doctor, Doctor Jokes

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Back to So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

Doctor Doctor Jokes

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm going blind! smiley - doctor

This is the butcher's shop, Sir.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep hearing music!

Take the band off your hat.

Doctor, Doctor, why do I keep hearing numbers instead of words?

Must be something you 8.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a golf club!

Get a grip on yourself!

Doctor, Doctor, I can't wait to go into hospital!

Just be patient, madam.

Doctor, Doctor, if you don't do something for these spots now, I'll...

Now, now, Sir, don't do something rash...


Well, you're certainly a loud speaker...

Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming about horses!

Are they nightmares?

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a tree.

You must be pining for something.

Doctor, Doctor, will I be able to do the cha-cha after the operation?

No, you'll have to wait until you go home.

Doctor, Doctor, how can I avoid falling hair?

Step out of the way.

Doctor, Doctor, nobody takes me seriously.

That's the funniest thing I've heard in years!

Doctor, Doctor, how do I avoid that run-down feeling?

Look both ways before crossing the road.

Doctor, Doctor, would you give me something for my feet?

I wouldn't take them as a gift!

Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!

I could tell the moment you walked through the window.

Doctor, Doctor, could you help me out?

Certainly, which way did you come in?

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!

Sit down and tell me all about it.

I can't! I'm not allowed on the furniture.

Doctor, Doctor, what's the best cure for acid indigestion?

Stop drinking acid.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm invisible.

Who said that?!?!?

Doctor, Doctor, everyone ignores me.


Doctor, Doctor, my boy has swallowed my pen! What shall I do??!

Use a pencil until I get there.

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

Sit down and I'll deal with you later.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep stealing things!

Have you taken anything for it?

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a cricket bat.

How's that?

Oh, don't you start!

Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.

Have you been feeling this way long?

Ever since I was a kid.

Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar.

Come, now, I don't believe that.

Doctor, Doctor, come quick! My husband's broken his leg!

But I'm a doctor of music!

That's okay, it was the piano that fell on him.

Doctor, Doctor, I keep losing my memory.

When did this start to happen?

When did what start to happen?

Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep!

Lie on the end of the bed and you'll soon drop off.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a kettle.

The Doctor's out at the moment. Pour yourself over these magazines until he returns.

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a curtain.

Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a lightbulb!

Whatever turns you on...

Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a fish!
smiley - nurseThere's nothing wrong with you - go back to school.

So Long, And Thanks For Laughing

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