h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There are many many stories I could tell here, though none of them compare with Master B's blu-tak incident.

However, this incident should have been embarassing only to two people, but......

Many years ago I was going out with a young lady called Jane, and late one night, whilst her parents were upstair in bed, she and I were doing something, on the setee, that would have provoked an extreme reaction from her father.

Anyway, things were progressing smoothly when Jane gave a low moan, then a small whimper, then a quite loud moan, then a load yell. "Hello," I thought, "I'm on form tonight." When suddenly I was bucked off and thrown onto the hearth map as Jane hopped around the room clutching her calf, screaming, "cramp."

Well I adjusted my dress, and was bending her toe back in best trainer fashion when the lights snapped on and her father came into the room, followed by her brother.

Fortunately he accepted out dozed off, and cramp explanation, indeed it seemed quite reasonable, and shortly afterwards I went home relieved, but frustrated.

Now, that should have been the end of it, but the next night she and I were laughing about the incident, and I told her my comment about "on form tonight." Unfortunately, a friend of hers was in a psoition to overhear the entire conversation - and repeated it - widely.

After that Jane stopped returning my calls, and several of my mates began making jokes about my 'being in form.' It was 3 months before I found out Jane had dumped me for sharing our intimate moments with all and sundry, and about 2 years before her friend confessed.

To this day, in certain company, a reference to someone being in form will prompt the telling of this story.