Last Of The Summer Vino - Beating the Kids

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I want to beat my kids, I would really like to give them a good thrashing., a really good hiding, but I just can’t, I cannot seem to be able to beat my Kids.

At the moment they are quite young, so now is a good time to do it, you know, before they get to big and strong in which case it will be impossible for me to beat them, so I must try harder, I keep telling myself that I can beat them, but I can’t seem to do it. Kids should be beaten when they are young and still weedy, if I can’t beat them now then I will have no chance when they get bigger and stronger

I have just purchased some new super technological plimsolls, I though that I could use them to help me beat them, but I was wrong. So I have decided to use the traditional method.

I will have to get myself fit, I have to build up my stamina, I need to exercise everyday for the next few weeks, maybe even months and then, perhaps, I will have enough strength and energy to beat them.

The main problem is that I haven’t got the time, I have to be able to beat them in the next 10 days, otherwise it’s to late, the race will be over and I will undoubtedly be the last to cross the finish line.

You’ve guessed it, after years of boasting on my athletic youth, my kids have signed me up for the local schools sports day, in the up hill down hill around the narrow cobbled streets race.

I have been sort of training for the past few weeks, walking to the bar instead of driving (to make it more difficult I have been going to the bar in the other piazza which is 50 meters further away) , not drinking everyday and not smoking before 7 am or after Midnight .

Sadly, my first real race after 20 years of abstinence proved me very wrong and the Kids beat Me!

Ps: so did all the old age pensioners, pregnant mothers and everyone else who entered the race.

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