My Beard, Religion and War.

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Having lots of untamed facial hair, or a long bushy beard as some people like to call it, is not what it used to be. For the last couple of years I have been the proud owner of a long fuzzy untrimmed beard.

During the first period of ownership people expressed mixed feelings towards it, especially when drinking a cappuccino or eating a nutella sandwich, but I didn’t feel any discrimination.

After a clean-cut westerner declared war against various bearded men, things slowly changed, people looked at me with suspicion, is he trying to say something with that beard, has he changed religion, are we safe living in the same town as him, should we inform the American embassy or the nearest Christian barber shop.

Discrimination against me diminished a little when a new war was declared against a moustache only person. Intelligent media guided missiles were re-programmed to seek out upper lip hair only, hence altering societies vision of what bad people looked like.

The effect was immediate, people looked at me in a new way, my image changed from being a terrorist to just being a potential terrorist.

I am sure that in the near future my image will improve further and people will come to regard me as a safe person with a slight tendency to look like a badly dressed Wurzle Gummage with the wrong head on

I have been tinkering with the idea of shaving it all of, but I am a little hesitant, I have heard rumours that the next war will be against someone with no facial or body hair.

Just think, with the right wars and media pressure my look may even become fashionable.

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