A Conversation for The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
Peer Review: A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Started conversation Oct 24, 2007
Entry: The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted - A28237421
Author: LizzyVee - U3750777
Hi, I'm submitting this for peer review. It's about a recently renovated art deco cinema in Hertfordshire, near where I live, called the Rex. The story of how it went from a derelict site to a thriving local venue is quite interesting, I think.
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
Icy North Posted Oct 24, 2007
A wonderful story, Lizzie - well done!
There are a few typos in there, which a cafeful reading should iron out.
Just one thing:
It wasn't clear why.
Icy
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Posted Oct 24, 2007
Thanks - he resents them using the Rex to make their own profits. I think he doesn't like the way they bandy about his cinema's name without his permission or the Rex benefitting in any way. Which of course is a pretty unreasonable position, as he can't stop them. But I'll make it clearer in the interview (or remove that bit).
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Posted Oct 29, 2007
I've cleared up a couple of typos, but please let me know if I've missed any. I've also altered the paragraph about Mr Hannaway and estate agents, hopefully making it a bit clearer.
Things have been very quiet for this article in peer review. Are there any more comments?
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
Leo Posted Oct 29, 2007
>>Once upon a time, a man in Hertfordshire did a very unusual thing. While some people dream of opening their own restaurant or bar, he opened his own cinema. But cinemas are owned by corporations, not individuals, you say? Well, not in Berkhamsted, where the Rex Cinema is laying claim to the accolade of 'the best little cinema in Britain'.
- why was it unusual? Since you say 'once upon a time' I have no time context to put this in, and for all I know it dates back to the days before corporations owned all the cinemas.
Otherwise, it's quite a sweet little entry, perfect h2g2 material.
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
h5ringer Posted Oct 29, 2007
I can't see where you're coming from Leo. Privately-owned cinemas anywhere have a lot in common with both hens' teeth and rocking-horse droppings, and the entry has plenty of date information in it.
As for starting with 'Once upon a time...', well I think that's been done a time or two before. I'm happy with it as it is.
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Posted Oct 30, 2007
Thanks for both of those comments. I've changed the first sentence to:
"Once upon a time in the 21st Century, a man in Hertfordshire did a very unusual thing."
Does that help - or does a putting a specific time-frame after "once upon a time" make the sentence a nonsense?
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
h5ringer Posted Oct 30, 2007
I'm afraid for me it does, yes. I'd really like Leo to come back with some more detail on where the problem is
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Posted Oct 31, 2007
I've tinkered slightly again - "once upon a time in 21-Century Hertfordshire, one man did a very strange thing..."
I think that reads OK. I did take Leo's point to be fair - I imagine in the early days of cinema they were owned by individuals more frequently.
Are there any more comments on the entry?
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Felonious Monk - h2g2s very own Bogeyman Posted Nov 2, 2007
Beautifully written, truly informative and interesting. I can't praise this highly enough.
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
Mr Wonderful Posted Nov 11, 2007
Had trouble with the 'best little cinema' phrase. Did you mean it's the best among little cinemas, or that it's little, but best? Personally I don't think it's little (feels like a cathedral), but it is definitely the best.
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
Mr Wonderful Posted Nov 11, 2007
Is 'cafeful' ironic, an example or a neat blend of both?
A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
LizzyVee Posted Nov 19, 2007
I was alluding to the title of the Musical, 'Best Little Whorehouse in Texas' - perhaps not obvious enough, though?
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Peer Review: A28237421 - The Rex Cinema - Berkhamsted
- 1: LizzyVee (Oct 24, 2007)
- 2: Icy North (Oct 24, 2007)
- 3: LizzyVee (Oct 24, 2007)
- 4: LizzyVee (Oct 29, 2007)
- 5: Leo (Oct 29, 2007)
- 6: h5ringer (Oct 29, 2007)
- 7: LizzyVee (Oct 30, 2007)
- 8: h5ringer (Oct 30, 2007)
- 9: LizzyVee (Oct 30, 2007)
- 10: LizzyVee (Oct 31, 2007)
- 11: h2g2 auto-messages (Nov 2, 2007)
- 12: Icy North (Nov 2, 2007)
- 13: h5ringer (Nov 2, 2007)
- 14: Felonious Monk - h2g2s very own Bogeyman (Nov 2, 2007)
- 15: LizzyVee (Nov 5, 2007)
- 16: Mr Wonderful (Nov 11, 2007)
- 17: Mr Wonderful (Nov 11, 2007)
- 18: LizzyVee (Nov 19, 2007)
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