A Conversation for Laughing is Good for You
ALternate version of USAF joke
Bluebottle Started conversation Nov 20, 2000
Maintenance Work Orders
These are some actual maintenance work orders submitted by US Air
Force pilots, and the replies from the maintenance crews.
Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft
Problem: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
Solution: #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack
Problem: The autopilot doesn't.
Solution: It does now!
Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.
Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.
Problem: DME (Distance Measuring Equipment) volume unbelievably
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.
Problem: Dead bugs on windshield
Solution: Live bugs on order.
Problem: IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) inoperative
Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode .
Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.
Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to "straighten up, fly right, and be serious!"
Problem: Target Radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics.
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