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ALternate version of USAF joke

Post 1


Maintenance Work Orders

These are some actual maintenance work orders submitted by US Air
Force pilots, and the replies from the maintenance crews.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough
Solution: Autoland not installed on this aircraft

Problem: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
Solution: #2 Propeller seepage normal - #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack
normal seepage

Problem: The autopilot doesn't.
Solution: It does now!

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME (Distance Measuring Equipment) volume unbelievably
Solution: Volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield
Solution: Live bugs on order.

Problem: IFF (Identification Friend or Foe) inoperative
Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode .

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're there for.

Problem: Number three engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Solution: Aircraft warned to "straighten up, fly right, and be serious!"

Problem: Target Radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed Target Radar with the lyrics.

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ALternate version of USAF joke

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