A Conversation for h2g2 Hospital

Triage

Post 1

U218534

Patients are seen in order of arrival, and then categorised by clinical priority based on the diagnosis here.

Joe C smiley - doctor


Triage

Post 2

enviableNannyPat

How would you rate a patient who presents with a psychiatric crisis in A & E?


Triage

Post 3

U218534

Hmm... interesting one... well, come through to a cubicle and we'll have a look smiley - smiley


Triage

Post 4

enviableNannyPat

Entered cubicle - what is the procedure and answer?smiley - runorsmiley - hug?


Triage

Post 5

U218534

Well, what's your psychiatric crisis? You don't think you're a fishsmiley - fishsmiley - hsif, do you?

smiley - doctor


Triage

Post 6

U168592

*strides in* Have to pull you up there Dr. Joe. We need to assess medically first before we even touch this patients clear case of psychosis. smiley - tongueout

*sticks icy-pole stick in throat*

Ow.

*coughs*

Anyway, when you've ensured the patient is medically fit, bleep DPM and tell them they have a patient to see in A&E. Then boil a kettle , make some sandwiches and organise a holiday, as it could be quite some time...

Hoopy Frood smiley - nurse


Triage

Post 7

U218534

Ooh, ta. Never treated a psych patient before.

That said, my medical experience stops at a.) a First Aid course, b.) frequently watching Casualty, and c.) being Medic-in-Residence at the Assassins' Guild smiley - flustered. Good to have someone who knows what they're talking about around smiley - biggrin


Triage

Post 8

Dr Anthea - ah who needs to learn things... just google it!

oooh... people.... smiley - bigeyes


Triage

Post 9

U168592

*shines his pen-torch about*
Did I ever tell yo the time I got mistaken for a vaccuum cleaner? *waves at the modern matron*
Ma'am.
*goosesteps off to check to make sure none of the green goblins are having their wicked way with the med students in the sluice*


Triage

Post 10

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

*walks in*


right I have quite a few marchers here who will need treament for foot blisters


Triage

Post 11

Reefgirl (Brunel Baby)

Can someone see to my ribs please


Triage

Post 12

U168592

I'm sorry, I'm busy tickling this funny bone...ribs are out of my scope...smiley - erm


Triage

Post 13

WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean.

MORNIN ALL....any Sea Bird Vets in yet...I've got a nasty blister on this ere web....smiley - peacedove


Triage

Post 14

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

ummm I think we should get Jack looked at too, while we're here


Triage

Post 15

U218534

Oh dear!

*wakes up and rushes around looking busy smiley - run*

Right, smiley - cheesecake anyone? Who's first?

Joe C smiley - doctor


Triage

Post 16

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

erm supose thats me then


Triage

Post 17

Bold Ferret - God of Three Sided Squares, Helium Filled Lemmings and A Slightly Bent Teaspoon

*marches in*

Mornin' Cal, you the only one here?

*gets a chewy smiley - tea-a-like from the smiley - coffee machine*


Triage

Post 18

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

looks that way


we're getting our blisters looked at


Triage

Post 19

WanderingAlbatross - Wing-tipping down the rollers of life's ocean.

Mutter, mutter...no booze, no soup...what sort of bar is this..thinks...should have turned left at the lights......smiley - peacedove


Triage

Post 20

Cal - interim high priest of the Church of the Holy Tail

theres a vending machine over there in the corner


Key: Complain about this post