h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Joey Ramone and The Ramones: Pioneers of Punk - A2647677
Author: mighty_veon - U723457

Any comments? its my first article so constructive Critisizm is wanted.

Very good for a first effort And I'm surprised to find that we don't already have an edited entry about The Ramones.

The first thing I have to say is that the entry contains the word 'f***ing' which even in reported speech is a no-no on h2g2. I've alerted the Moderators to this and they will probably hide the entry, but all you have to do is go in and star out the word the way that I did just there, and the entry will magically re-appear

This entry is going to need some work, but I reckon it could easily be licked into shape

Firstly - edited entries should not have any first-person references, so the first two footnotes will have to be re-written in third-person or removed.

Secondly - since there are footnotes, you've obviously tried your hand at alittle GuideML There are some other aspects of this entry which will require GuideML, and we try to get an entry as complete as possible before it gets handed over to the Sub-editors. For instance, all album titles should be in italics (but not, I think, song titles), so they would be written like this Acid Eaters

Ans speaking of Acid Eaters, there is an edited entry about that album which you could link to - A929658 This page <./>GuideML-LINK</.> will tell you how to make links to other h2g2 entries. It's worth noting that an edited entry can only use links to other edited entries.

Even though the information is already given in the Acid Eaters entry, it would be worth including some information about them not being brothers, what their real names were, and why they chose to use the name Ramaones and call themselves by the same family name.

"and the world wept for the passing of one of the greatest people to have lived"
Judgemental statements like that aren't allowed in edited entries unless it's a quote by someone else.

There's more to be said, but I gotta go. Who else wants to grab this one and help out mighty_veon?


Scout

Looks like the Mods starred it out for you

Thanks for those pointers man, Im gonna go and edit it now.

I've never been a great fan of the Ramones, so maybe a PR regular who knows more about them than I do will come along and help out too

I'll try to - looks good so far

A great entry about great band!

I did spot a typo, the New York club should be CBGB.
(it stands for Country, Bluegrass & Blues, oddly enough)

Well done.

Typos
'died April 15th (Easter Sunday) 2001 die to Lymphatic cancer' - due to lymphatic cancer

'got on staged' - got on stage

'Paul McCartny used when singing into motels' - this put a great picture into my head but its signing into motels, and its McCartney.

'this cam from the fact' came from the fact

"silver beatles" Silver Beatles

Paragraph 3 says that Joey was originally to be the drummer, yet the 2nd paragraph says that Tommy was the drummer at their first gig ?
There are spurious capitals throughout the piece, and lack of them in other places, read through one line at a time to try and spot them.

The typos detracted from my pleasure in reading the article, which is good.

Unfortunately the author has Elvised, so I propose moving this to FM.


Geggs

*Beats GreyDesk to the button again*

Yeah, but I'm the one with the functioning e-mail client