h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Sunday, June 4, 2000
Norfolk, Virginia

The check out line was slow as the cashier wiped the scanner off between swipes of wet and heavy sides of ribs. The lady in front of me either had a very large family or a great party was in the works. I watched people coming into the grocery store as I waited. It was raining hard outside and they rushed in the door shaking water from their hair.

A twenty-something woman jogged across the parking lot for the door. That she had no bra on was an inescapable conclusion from the pendulous motion of her chest against her tee shirt. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her as she came through the door. The chill accompanying the rain had made her nipples hard, and the tee shirt clung to her body. She paused near my check-out line and raised her arms to gather her long hair into a pony tail. The world stood still as her fine tits stood out, chiseled against her wet shirt, as she worked at her hair.

Wow, geezer3, i've found another tits man.
Have you ever come across the idea that you can increase your life expectancy by sucking tits without having sex?
I'm trying, but it's tough.

Is this just once, or does the amount of sucking relate to the amount of lengthened life-span? And is this just one person, or lots? Does each person have a finite amount of extra life they can bestow upn you?

There's definitely a hefty research grant in there somewhere..

And a research grant would confirm that science can indeed be fun.
I'm inclined to think that life expectancy is increased in a direct ratio of time spent sucking. I'm also inclined to think that the prohibition against follow-up sex is a myth, and I want to test that one out thoroughly. I'm working on this now without a research grant.

Ah! Men of SCIENCE!

I'd like to say that I've been experimenting with sucking tits, bot with and without sex for the greater part of my life. I'm 42 now (is there something in that?) and people still call me a "young man". So I'm tending towards the conclusion that having sex is permissable...

My tentative conclusion early in the research is that sucking followed by sex increases life expectancy as much as sucking not followed by sex. My evidence: Only on Sunday (2 days ago) I was refused a senior citizen discount until I produced a driver's license with picture and birthdate showing me to be 67. This is my first experience of disbelief of my stated age since I started daily sucking tits and having or not having sex about seven weeks ago. Since sex is so damn nice following my hour or so of sucking, I'll continue with it.
The first time a 42 year old calls me "young man" I'll know I'm succeeding in lengthening my life expectancy.

I wholeheartedly agree that sucking on tits increases lifespan. Recent research suggests that simply looking at them increases one's lifespan. I've never met a tit that I didn't like and want to get closer to, close enough to suck on. I know that I will live for ever.

Yes, Geezer 3, there is some thought that merely looking at tits causes life to stir. A limmerick you may have heard speaks to this point: "There once was a soprano at Chichester / Who made even the saints in their niches stir; / One morning at matins, / Her breasts 'neath her satins / Made the Bishop of Chichester's britches stir." Perhaps you have experienced a similar stirring of life. I have.

I must agree that I've had simular experiences, not only with breasts, but with women's buttocks, and thighs, as well!

Am I strange to harbour such feelings?





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Baron--it is all right, as an American egalitarian, to call you Baron, isn't it?--it would be stranger if upon occasion you do not feel the stirrings of life in your loins when you look upon female anatomy, whether tits, ass, thighs, neck, arm, back, abdomen, calf, hair, eyes or lips. Can anything so good as this rising-up-of-life be called strange? No. Never. So seek it out. Revel in it. Enjoy it to the hilt. Yes, to the hilt.

I'm pleased that I'm not alone in my joy in female flesh! I have found uncouted delights beneath the scented skirts, and in the comforting arms of loving women. To these, I doff my hat.

Monday August 14 2000 16:00 GMT-5.
In similar circumstances, with considerable pleasure, I have doffed my trousers.

Rounded melons of satin. Butts, belly buttons, 2nd toes: I say to you guys, GO! This is very good, for while y'all are off on those fine pursuits, I will grousing in the goodie of all the large breasted women I can lay, ah, my eyes on.

Yes! I must doff my trousers to them, as well!

I must say, limiting oneself to large-breasted women leaves a lot of lovliness for ME, so go for it, Geezer!


da Baron

PTOOIE!<<--------------------*

"Gee, I'm glad cows don't fly!"

You gotta love this country!

We began with big tits and come full circle to a celebration of diversity. To each his or her own, and dish me up some of those big tits, would ya' please.

PRAISE "Bob"! Hail ,,oBo,,! Lezze le bon tome rolle!

da Baron

ptewie!<<----------------*

"Who let the PIDGEON into the PARLOR?"