A Conversation for The Malaysian Grand Prix 21-03-2004

Peer Review: A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 1

E G Mel

Entry: The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21 - A2493155
Author: E G Mel - U49849

OK, I'm not sure if this really fits the Edited guide but seeing as I tried to steer away from an opinion piece I feel it is better off here than in the alternative guide.

This entry has been produced as part of the unofficial F 1 club idea to have reports for each race and it seemed a shame to put all that effort in then not to enter into the edited guide.

I had difficulty as to what tense to write in as I was writing after the race but some parts related to later on in the weekend. Points on this are especially welcome. smiley - ok

Looking forward to feedback

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 2

E G Mel

smiley - boing*Bump*smiley - boing

Is it really that boring? smiley - wahsmiley - winkeye

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 3

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

Here's 2 small errors for a start, but i'm not finnished yet:


drives, missing an R

With most of the other drives a second off the pace it was only the test drivers Davidson and Zonta who could get near them.





Germans requires an appostrophe if my english serves me well (German's)

competition was fiercer as Montoya was just 3 hundredths of a second off the Germans pace followed by his team mate Ralf in 3rd.


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 4

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

And this one:



'of' should be 'off' i think.

Raikkonen appeared to be holding onto 3rd place fairly firmly fighting >>>of<<< Barrichello and then Trulli but Button got the better of them all with a late pit stop that brought him out in 3rd.



Other wise a very well written and acurate report, well done.smiley - smiley


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 5

E G Mel

smiley - ok will correct those now smiley - cheers

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 6

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

I have to a admit, you dont have very many comments, I would have expected someone else to have contributed something by now.

However perhaps they are going on the theory that its pretty much flawless. smiley - smiley Would be nice if they said so though....

So here goes
"Its seems pretty much flawless as far as i can see, Very Excellent Job, everyone writing a race report now has a lot to live up to, Well Done smiley - applause"


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 7

E G Mel

smiley - spacesmiley - spacesmiley - space"everyone writing a race report now has a lot to live up to"

I wouldn't say that, for a start I think it would be better to try some other styles as well, ones which are more race orientated rather than weekend orientated.

smiley - cheers for the comments, I don't think it's flawless I just got to the point where I stopped seeing the flaws smiley - erm

So which race are you covering Dark Master? smiley - winkeye

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 8

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

*cough cough* smiley - flusteredI think I will do the one in China, theres a while to go until that one.

*yep, that'll do, I need to pass my Higher English Exam before I can do any race reports, but dont expect them to be as good as yours*


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 9

Cyzaki

Here are my comments!

The date would need to be the other way round - I *think* EG standard is dd/mm/yyyy so the title would need to be changed to fit in.

The first header isn't needed, and the sub would only remove it anyway.

I think the first time you mention each driver you should use both names, then you can go on to use their surname only (or first name in some cases).

It's a brilliant report though!

smiley - panda


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 10

E G Mel

It would be typical of the BBC to not be ISO standard with the date, but at least they do have a standard. smiley - winkeye

I'll put the updates in when I have time, hopefully later today.

smiley - cheers

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 2004-03-21

Post 11

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

Its more the UK than the BBC that are being non-ISO.


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 21-03-2004

Post 12

E G Mel

True, I've been trying to drag everyone I know into the 21st century of how to write the date but it never seems to happen! Maybe I should add it to the features list!

Done the updates, think I've spelt all the names right etc and have edited the title(both here and on the article), was tempted just to leave it as 2004 but though it looked better with the full date.

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 21-03-2004

Post 13

Cyzaki

Your tenses are a bit here-and-there, at least in the first few paragraphs - some bits are in past and some in future, and I think it would be better all in past.

smiley - panda


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 21-03-2004

Post 14

E G Mel

Ok, I'll see what I can do, though I actually have some work today so it might not get done until this evening!

Mel smiley - hsif


A2493155 - The Malaysian Grand Prix 21-03-2004

Post 15

E G Mel

smiley - run I think I've got it all in the past now.

If some one could have a read through and see if they can spot any I've missed that would be great. You know how it gets when you are re-working a piece over and over! smiley - cheers

Mel smiley - hsif


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 16

h2g2 auto-messages

Your Guide Entry has just been picked from Peer Review by one of our Scouts, and is now heading off into the Editorial Process, which ends with publication in the Edited Guide. We've therefore moved this Review Conversation out of Peer Review and to the entry itself.

If you'd like to know what happens now, check out the page on 'What Happens after your Entry has been Recommended?' at EditedGuide-Process. We hope this explains everything.

Thanks for contributing to the Edited Guide!


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 17

Dark Master - The end is now (2005/03/01) Officially Left

Congratualtions


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 18

Otto Fisch ("Stop analysing Strava.... and cut your hedge")


smiley - alesmiley - bubblysmiley - teasmiley - cake


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 19

Cyzaki

Yay! We should see if we can get some more reports done! I'll probably do an eye-witness one for next weekend!

smiley - panda


Congratulations - Your Entry has been Picked for the Edited Guide!

Post 20

E G Mel

smiley - wow What a great welcome home smiley - gift !

smiley - cheers everyone for all the comments smiley - biggrin

Mel smiley - hsif


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