The CAC Continuum
Created | Updated Mar 4, 2004
agcBen's Poetry issue
Fiction 
Weird Science 
First/Personals 
Kitchen Syncronicities
Satire
'You, TOO, Can Do Poetry! No, it is not a recipe for cooking a horror writer. It is a way of freeing your soul from prose. No, prose is not what a runaway model does. No, a model is not one of those plastic things that looks like an auto, that you put together with airplane glue. No, Airplanes are no longer put together with glue, but council houses are. No, no one on the council actually lives in the houses. They just design them for the tenants, much like a fish-owner picks out the castle for the fishbowl. Except fish don't pay rent. Unless you eat their young. Which can get expensive if you keep koi. No, a koi fish does not bat it's eyelashes. Fish don't have eyelashes.'
The Bill of Fare:
Pursuant to an odd conversation between two of the oddest people on this site, me and a bucket of angst called Ben, a thought crossed the cyberspace and I decided to make a promise that I am not keeping until now. Here is aboacBen's opening salvo in the foyer: How to write poetry. Someone forgot to tell her that there is an open salvo law in this county.
Conversely, I am now perversely beginning to fulfill that promise, without consulting anyone who might be effected, affected or just deranged within the necessary organizations. 
and 
This is an odd piece of verbage and nounage that adjectively pursues the muse with a small spatula, (written by someone you'd never suspect), and almost catchs it in a cupronickel position.The Modest Person's Guide to Versification?
.
My mother told me not to read this kind of stuff,
How to write good poetry? as it would only make me like that Roddy kid in 'How Green Was My Septic Tank?'... or something like that. Or like this fellow Myriad about whom the less said, the more.
Now that you've been exposed, be sure to get your shot on the way out.
This won't hurt a bit.
This odd collection of stuff was found by agcBen , who picked up this infection while grubbing about for the Under Guide in the underwear drawer of h2g2 and the billiards hall of the Alternative Writing Workshop and whose own collection of versifying may be found here.
The boilerplate:
And, finally, a blue ribbon and a pat on the curriculum to those who have helped, offered help,
almost but not quite assisted but haven't gotten in the way,
and those with alien tracks in their Keats and Groucho ashes in their Yeats.
We wouldn't do it without you.
The Committee for Alien Content(ment) salutes you! 
This handprinted in blue crayon on butcher paper chapbook of poems about cute horses and mean cowbodys read and burned by
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