Small Screen Surfin'

2 Conversations

Welcome to another SSS! Just a small note that the last few weeks have been building up
to some kind of interview feature where I ask about your TV habits etc. in a kind of TV show kind
of way blah, blah, blah. Problem is, I don't have anyone to volunteer. So if you want to basically
promote your tastes then contact me via my email
address1 at the bottom of the page with your


U-number and h2g2 name and I'll get in touch with the poor sucker picked at random.

Now, on February 16th 2004, a DVD was released (don't worry AD I'm not swiping
your bit). That DVD was Red Dwarf IV and if you didn't know Red Dwarf is my
favourite TV show and always will be... since I first saw it. As such, to commemorate the RD DVDs
reaching the midway point so far as series are concerned, I decided to talk about when I first saw

it.
Sort of.

Unlike most fans of Red Dwarf, I first began watching in Series VII (of 8 total). Series VII is
quite possibly the most disliked series as far as fans are concerned, but it's where I first saw
Dwarf and therefore love it.

It all began back in 1997 on a Thursday during the ye old days when everyone didn't have a
mobile phone. Being the mostly bored person that I was on that Thursday, I flicked through the mere


five channels the family had and a programme started on BBC2 with a quite cheap looking plane.
What followed was a cockpit shot with Nazis one stroking a crocodile. 'Oh-' I thought, going
through a small James Bond overkill phase at the time, '-great, a Bond spoof.'. Then a man
appeared with a gold leather jacket and brown mullet hair lighting a cigar. The crocodile-holding
Nazi spun around:

Cpt. Voorhese2:'Ah, Ace
Rimmer... Might I enquire as to how you escaped your bonds?!'


Ace:'Simply had to dislocate both arms, pop them behind my ears and slip between the
ropes. Of course, it's going to take major orthopeadic surgery to put them back, but rest assured
that won't stop me from rescuing the Princess Bonjella...'


Voorhese:'Don't be insane, Rimmer, you're out-mannedand out-gunned.'

Ace:'Do you expect me to concede?'

Voorhese: 'No, Mr. Rimmer, I expect you to die.'

Snappy the Crocodile: *growls*


Voorhese: *to fellow Nazi* 'Take him into the hold, say 10 minutes to explain
all our plans to him then... throw him out of the plane!'

What followed was around five minutes of sky-diving, motor-biking and catch phrasing in a great
series of comedy then the title started... A green bug-shaped space craft shot across the screen...
Oh no... it was a sci-fi show. I hated sci-fi show. But wait, this one was different. It was a comedy and a great one... the best one! And I didn't even know what a red dwarf was supposed to be! Not only that but it was the second episode of the series (Stoke Me A Clipper). Yet this was able to keep my interest and the rest is smeg-tastic history as I found the hilarious Rimmer Munchkin Song two episodes later.

Now, seven years on I have a ridiculous amount of Red Dwarf trivia stored in my brain and I can
see why some fans don't particularly like Red Dwarf VII - The different camera style, the laughter
put on soundtrack, the loss of a major character might have had something to do with it - but who
knows!. Normally, the series would follow the next year(ish) but series VI ended on a cliffhanger. It
had 'to be continued', yet it took four years for Doug Naylor to write 8 episodes without partner
Rob Grant.The same again happened with series VIII (1999)- two years went by. Now, series VIII
was the last series so far bringing the total episodes to 52 - it ended on a cliff-hanger... again. Now
it's been five years since then... and the movie keeps getting delayed... COME ON!!!!! I'll go
insane!

Keep Surfin'... flibble

Small Screen Surfin'
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1[email protected]2For that was the Nazi's name.

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