h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*opens door to let in Mr sultandude*

Please take off any sweater or jacket you're wearing, but leave your shirt on...

Would you please sit down on that bench? *points*

"Erm....you obviously haven't read the backlogs in some of the threads, my usual attire when I am not in Kabuki Man mode is simply my trusty white towel which compliments my newly topped up towel, so you see dear lady the shirt is already off. How do you like my nipple ring and tatoo?"

Sorry,typo's, should read.....

"Erm....you obviously haven't read the backlogs in some of the threads, my usual attire when I am not in Kabuki Man mode is simply my trusty white towel which compliments my newly topped up tan, so you see dear lady the shirt is already off. How do you like my nipple ring and tatoo?"

Very interesting, sir...

*starts preparations; dims lights, lights candles and scent lamp with musk oil, puts on music: Gipsy Queens, low volume*

*drops lime oil in her hands and start rubbing them together to warm them up*

THINKS-Is this going to be a experience or what?

*starts stroking sultandude's back with the palms of her hands in big, circular, smooth movements, warming up*

*circles growing smaller, tighter, turning into rubbing*

"MMMMMM.......man does that ever feel good."

*starts working on Erector Spinae - big muscle to keep up the spine*

*digs into muscle next to spine with the heel of her hand, presses out and releases*

*repeats all the way down*

*changes to other side of spine and works all the way up*

*changes to muscle just below neck, where you sometimes grow a little 'hump' of tension*

*presses her slightly bent thumbs into the muscles, using elbows as a lever to increase pressure*

THINKS-I'm in heaven-

Do you enjoy that, sir?

*increasing pressure*

"I certainly did, by the way, do you like go-go bars?"

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*changes to muscle between shoulder and neck, left side*

*presses one end of muscle away from her with the heel of her hand, pulling other end towards her with other hand, fingers slightly bent*

*reverses twisting of muscle, giving it a good stretch*

go-go? male or female dancers?

"Hmmm! Have you been talking to Kasia?"

*changes to muscle right side of neck, pushing, pulling, twisting*

Maybe, Mr Sultandude...

Now, if you could please lean your forehead forwards into my palm, sir - and try to relax completely, I will keep a firm grip!

*working on muscles on both sides of neck, thumb on one side, rest of fingers on other side, gripping, pulling outwards, releasing*

*repeating from base of neck to back of head, then down again, then up again, then down...*

*Feels so untense he starts to drift away*

Could you please lie down on your back, Mr Sultandude?

*pulls woollen blanket over Sultandude to keep him warm*

*Sultandude, by now utterly relaxed, feels a wonderful warmth spreading through no longer tense muscles, as the blood circulation is stimulated*

*Titania starts her famous scalp-massage*

*Sultandude inpects the inside of his eyelids an uterly inane grin on his face*