h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Got to go, bye all!

*drifting off*

IIEM green tea please. Mmmmm bit quiet here today.

Settles down with his laptop computer on the red-velvet-couch. Starts to sub latest batch of guide entries. First one, 1987 words on God. Arrrrrrrrrrgh.

Howdy folks, IIEM Cuban coffee please.
How is everone today?

This day has been the harbinger of a very substantial house expense involving health inspectors and the digging up of the back yard. I wish I had moved out after the hot water heater exploded 3 years ago.

IIEM, give me ANTI-COFFEE! *noisy sound of grinding teeth*

Lil, Lil, Lil, I think that you may need one of my special brownies.

Mmmm... Anti-coffee...

Anticoffee please IIEM thats been around since the Oscars... that was the night I first couldn't sleep...
*doesn't get nostalgic*

Anticoffee please IIEM thats been around since the Oscars... that was the night I first couldn't sleep...
*doesn't get nostalgic*

The objectionably smelly operation takes place sometime in the next two days. This is the cheap emptying of the tank operation. I think that, during the drought, some arboreal entity sent its roots into the drain field and effectively stopped the flow. But after the palliative comes the estimate and health inspector visit, and then a report gets filed and a plan is required by law to be filed and then there has to be a permit. And then comes the digging up of the yard, and after all that comes the penury.

You would think that, if I DID have a serious problem with smells and all (which I don't), the health department would be inclined to vault over all the red tape, wouldn't you.

*throws back anti-coffee* All this because of a sluggish drain.

IIEM, another anti-coffee.


Valis, are those brownies kosher?

*Outside, there is a loud explosion. In a few minutes, Irving, startled, runs in, carrying a charred wine bottle*

Did you all hear that? Something blew up in the forrest! By the time I got there, all that was left were the remains of a building I didn't know existed, this bottle -- I can't make out the label, it's all obliterated -- and a black van, with a liscence plate that read "STUMPED" driving away into the distance at a high speed! Does this bottle look familiar to anyone? Has anyone ever seen a bottle like this before? It'd annoy me very much if someone were making wine on my premises!

~Irving

{[B17]}

Irv!

*grabs a towel and gives it to Irv to wrap the charred bottle* Better store that away as evidence.

Ook seems to have started his own watermelon patch somewhere in the wood, but I never heard anything about a still. Whom do you suspect?

Mmmmm. I believe, a couple of weeks ago, in a shack out the back, I had a couple of bottles of beer to celebrate NZ's win over Australia in the rugby.

I watched the game on the Cafe's TV while enjoying a lovely cup of green tea..

hey, guys! support Harry Potter at A418213!!!!!!!!

~Glances at sea's name~

Hmmm... Masque for Dictator... didn't I hear something about the Masque handing out free "magical" election wine? And a STUMPED van was driving away from the scene...

Something's fishy here, and I think it's the Masque of the Red Herring!

I already threatened somebody called Redfish, and I'm quite happy to threaten spammers and political campaigners democratically. This cafe is a neutral zone. sea Masque, no more slogans in this place or the regulars will say nasty things about you behind your back.

Irv, I had to get this out a couple of times *points to extremely big yellow nerf hammer under counter* and I got to like the feeling of power. Now I can enforce the rule -- I think there is only one -- more effectively. It works on the IIEM, too.

G'mornin' all good people!

Coffee please, IIEM!! And a brownie would be nice too!

Hmm..
Awfully quiet in here...

Ook, what you say 'bout a game of Scrabble?

Ook:

yes, I now you're gonna beat the crap out of me, but I don't have anything better to do.

*wanders in*

Lemon tea please, IIEM

*looks up from Scrabble-board*

Hi Joanna!

Whats up?