A Conversation for The Café

I want a job

Post 481

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

Jazz ....... Mmmm, nice.....


Always remember - Pillage FIRST, burn SECOND. Rape the WOMEN, pillage the HOUSES.


I want a job

Post 482

Cupid Stunt

Oh, I've been pillaging the women and raping the houses all these years!


I want a job

Post 483

Bluebottle

It's an easy mistake to make.... I should know.... smiley - sadface


I want a job

Post 484

Gw7en, Voice of Chaos (Classic)

Ouch! Splinters! smiley - bigeyes


I want a job

Post 485

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

*raises sword and runs towards Gw7en, with the intention of breaking in, killing the occupants and stealing any valuables contained inside*

AAAAAAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!

*stops, checks his last post, adopts a puzzled expression and walks away, embarrassed*


I want a job

Post 486

Cupid Stunt

Pillage houses, rape women, gottit. Now, where do we get search warrants and condoms, or does that take the fun out of it?


I want a job

Post 487

LePerdymonkee,Phobos'PremierLeatherGodess. Museof tasteful & artistic nude portraits + Patron Saintof the Selectively Ignored-©

Where are these Vikings? Are they challenging my godessness? Hmm... I may feel inclined to um.... beat them up. Take me to your lizard. Their lizard. Any lizard, I don't care.... Chicks in leather can take out marauding Scandanavian men .... strong scandanavian men.. wearing fur.. tall... hmm... yesss...


I want a job

Post 488

Kumabear

*Pokes head in in door and sniffs air curiosly.....Pulls hatdown over eyes ,lumbers to center of room and has a seat on the loveley "Dogs playing poker" throw rug*

*waits.....................................*


I want a job

Post 489

Cupid Stunt

A Norse, A Norse, My Kingdom for A Norse!

--..--. ...- .-. -- ... .- --. - Norse Code!


The Viking Arrives

Post 490

The Brain

Erm sorry, can I have that coffe now please, or else, erm, I'll have to do something unpleasent to, erm, everyone smiley - smiley (that's a feeble grin, by the way)
*waves sword in one hand and double headed battle axe of thor in the other while swaying long blond plaits around, (i am a natural blond you know!!!!) an hoping odd little bullet hat doesn't fall off and make a noise*


The Viking Arrives

Post 491

Cupid Stunt

Where's my toasted spam? (Carries on pillaging the women and raping the houses)


The Viking Arrives

Post 492

LePerdymonkee,Phobos'PremierLeatherGodess. Museof tasteful & artistic nude portraits + Patron Saintof the Selectively Ignored-©

Hey! That's my house you stupi- well... erm...
Er.. Just don't make the nasty with my dwelling. What do you pillage from un woman, anyway? Entrails? Desk lamps? Humph. Fine.
::Looks a blonde norseman with pointy bullet hat::

Wow! Un strong man? In here? Fortune has found un goddess.


The Viking Arrives

Post 493

Cupid Stunt

? Your house? Whoops! Well, sorry.


Drink

Post 494

English Ben

Hi there. Could I get a small hot chocolate with sprinkles and a toasted plain bagel with lashings of cream cheese, please?


Drink

Post 495

Cupid Stunt

Yeah, and a plate of toasted pillage....

Spam! I meant Spam!


Drink

Post 496

LePerdymonkee,Phobos'PremierLeatherGodess. Museof tasteful & artistic nude portraits + Patron Saintof the Selectively Ignored-©

Can you believe that guy? He wants service! Look at all the raped houses lying about! How can you think of cream cheese at a time like this! This stupid c- um... er.. That dude is pillaging women even! Can't you see that brainy viking in the silly pointy hat? Yeesh.. the nerve.


Drink

Post 497

TechnicolorYawn (Patron Saint of the Morally Moribund)

A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, high chief of all the Vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle-helmets with the horns on the inside.


Brak cuts muffins

Post 498

LePerdymonkee,Phobos'PremierLeatherGodess. Museof tasteful & artistic nude portraits + Patron Saintof the Selectively Ignored-©

Olaf? Dude, I knew him! He was the big hairy dude with the holes on either side of his head. His wife beat him a lot. One day she mysteriously fell off a cliff. Olaf said they were going on a romantic picnic & the fog covered up the ledge. I dunno. Sad, sad... But he raped a nice house & pillaged a nice young lady who really dug high-chiefs. They got mawwied. Yep.


Brak cuts muffins

Post 499

Cupid Stunt

What do you mean, I'm as intelligent as the next Roman.

Any chance of that spam?


Brak cuts muffins

Post 500

English Ben

Or the bagel?


Key: Complain about this post

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more