h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

So, I guess you're all wondering what "May Balls" are, then? Here's a guide.
May Balls take place in Cambridge to celebrate the end of exams, as part of a complete week of entertainment known as "May Week". Due to the curiosities of the Cambridge calendar, May Week lasts ten days and takes place in June. Much is made of this nominal peculiarity, particularly by members of Oxford University, who celebrate their May Week in May. We like to think that the title "May Week" signifies a particular series of events (garden parties, college bops and the all-imporatant May Balls)rather than the month they take place in. We also like to consider Oxford a rather literal-minded University with no grasp of the postmodern.
The Balls themselves are expensive, expansive affairs. The richer, central colleges each host a ball once a year; some colleges can only afford to host a ball every two years. The balls typically open at 9am, and finish with breakfast and a "Survivor's Photo" at 6am the next morning. In the intervening hours, guests at a ball can partake of some or all of the following: Free booze, bouncy castles, free booze, free food of many varieties, dodgem cars and other fairground attractions, free booze, live musical acts (including big chart names at the biggest balls: Republica, Terrorvision, The Wedding Present, De La Soul, Boy George, Roland Gift and The Stranglers have all played May Balls, free booze, other live acts including hypnotists, performance artists, caricaturists, jugglers and other musical acts from jazz bands to harpists, free booze, casinos with prizes, free booze, chill-out rooms with dancers or cinematic showings and, most importantly, free booze. The colleges are lavishly decorated for the evening with marquees, planted arrangements, and lots of decor adjustments created by dedicated college committees who work to collect sponsorship for the ball, book acts and entertainments, and spend weeks painting boards and cutting out decorations to hang all over the place and transform their humble colleges. (I was never on such a committee, BTW - I just think they do a superhuman job).
Ball tickets cost at least £50, and some cost over £200 for a double ticket. The price of the ticket reflects the level of entertainment and the quantity of booze you can expect to find at the ball. Most balls are themed ("Symphonie", "Arabian Nights" and "A Midsummer Night's Dream" are recent or upcoming themes), and all have a "Black Tie" dress code. This means the men are kitted out in tux and dickie-bow, and the women either in taffeta meringue creations or slinky long frocks.
Very little "Ballroom dancing" takes place at a ball. The University ballroom team are called upon to perform demonstrations at some balls, but for the most part the dancing consists of women in big ballgowns jumping up and down in the techno tent. This does not prevent the Cambridge Dancer's Club, a student society specialising in Ballroom Teaching, making a packet each year by flogging four week "May Ball Crash Courses" to unsuspecting undergrads.
In Oxford, they do all this, but as mentioned above, they do it all in May. This is before their exam period, which happens at the same time as ours. This is undoubtedly one of the reasons why Cambridge sits at the top of the degree results table, and Oxford come in third.