h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I had this funny dream. Princess Leia looked like Kevin Smith...," says groggy director after suffering a minor stroke yesterday.
Carrie Fisher, busy at the manuscript for her new book, "Shirley McLaine is the Original of the Lilith Myth", was unavailable for comment, but her pubicist said, "I always thought Lucas looked like Francis Ford Coppola with a hangover, until I met Orson Welles, who said they all look like Alice B. Toklas between groundskeeper visits..."


Lucas, don't talk to me about Lucas...

For a minute I thought I heard Carrie Fisher crying, "Help me, Obi Wan". Knowing that 'help' in Tatooine involves at least three men and a boy I rushed on over. But now I see it's just a bunch of Wowbagger fans trick-or-treating in their Star Wars costumes.

Ah well, at least they're out in force.


~jwf~

Always right there with a titbit of wisdom, aren't you, Obi-Juan Fulton?

>> Always right there...<<

Always there, yes, but no, not always right.

~jwf~

"There has to be a balance in the sides of the force, Luke. Personally, I chose to increase my fiber intake."

Sir Alec and Mark were happy to contribute to this particular issue. Sir Alec's found that job opportunities have dried up as of late (with all due respect to the late, great actor), and Mark hasn't had a single decent job since Jedi. Poor blighter.

Funnily enough, the most money spent on this special effects extravaganza was to try and make Sir Alec NOT look like a ghost. George rang immediately after the cartoon was up and asked me to work on Ep3, as Ewan will need to look more like Sir Alec by the end of it.

Of course I replied "If the price is right George". He muttered something about being in complete financial and creative control before hanging up and I haven't heard from him since.

Mark did have that fascinating cameo in "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back", though...
Of course, so did Carrie...

Mark did quite a few lesser known films produced in Canada. He also had a short lived TV series about a goodguy/cowboy/rancher/lumberjack
living somewhere in the romantic imagination of natural wonders as found in Canada's western provinces. He would 'weekly' tackle an inordinate number of baddies who somehow conspired to all end up at his place. Even Nature seemed to have it in for him too with floods and avalanches, lightning strikes, bear attacks and forest fires galore.

The series didn't last long. He just didn't have the star power as an adult as he did as a drooling lustful adolescent. His diminuitive stature and that 'something evil' lurking behind his affected twinkling eyes makes it difficult to ever really love him. And how many times can a viewer get excited watching some scrawny runt stunt double jumping his Honda 50 trail bike over the same fallen log. A rhetorical question I think, best left to the deep thinkers of the Banff Television Convention.


~jwf~