Santa's Diary: Haiku

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smiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santa

Here we go again:

another flippin' Christmas.

Ho-ho-ho. Ho. Ho.

Freezing my giblets...

Global warming?? Mild winters!?!

Who are they kidding?

Pa-rum-pa-pa-pum,

stupid song rattles my brain --

where's the aspirin?

The wife avoids me.

Is she plotting with the elves? smiley - elf

Naughty List for her!

Thousands of letters:

'Dearest Santa, give give give...'
**Return To Sender**

... toys toys toys toys toys

toys toys toys toys toys toys toys ...

someone make it stop...

Air Traffic Control

gives me grief over flight plans.

(Feed the reindeer beans.) smiley - evilgrin

Stuffed like a bratwurst

into a shiny red suit --

I hear the elves snort. smiley - grr

Hours in a cold sleigh

make my haemorrhoids play up. smiley - bigeyes

Job's a pain in the ...

Cookies and milk. All

night long it's cookies and milk.

They give me heartburn.

Down the chimney -- oops!

The red suit is in tatters.

Stupid Rottweiler.

Another chimney.

Alarms blare, police arrive:

another mug shot. smiley - thief

By the hearth she waits:

hot toddy, hotter ideas. smiley - mistletoe

Naughty List? Ho, ho!

No time for a smoke.

More roofs, more chimneys. No

rest for the Fat Man.

Big jobs need big men.

The name is Claus. Santa Claus. smiley - cool

I deliver toys.

smiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santasmiley - santa


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