Exmouth, Devon, England

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Exmouth is surprisingly, situated at the mouth of the River Exe in Devon. It has a population of around 40,000 and about as many pubs. However, despite being the proud owner of one of the largest Community Colleges in Europe, as well as being home to Rolle College (part of the University of Plymouth), Exmouth's social calender is geared more towards its denture-wearing citizens than its pretty young things. Its vast concentration of pubs is only outnumbered by the amount of charity shops and nursing homes. Its a wonderful place to grow up and presumably, a nice place to grow old; but somewhere in between it loses it somewhat.

The Beach


One of Exmouth's highlights is its wonderful, long, sandy beach. The water is cleaner than many beaches in England and provides an ideal location to indulge in many watersports (except of course, jetskiing - there's no point encouraging them). Unfortunately, the Esplanade behind the beach provides an ideal breeding ground for another, equally irksome section of soceity: the Boy-Racers.

Boy-Racers


Get a group of beer swilling, B&H smoking lads whose one ambition in life is "to go to Ibiza and get tanked up"; give them a driving licence, an expensive insurance policy and some large bass-speakers and this is unfortunately what you get. If visiting Exmouth and you have to communicate with them, it is advisable to attempt this with a car horn.

The Pubs and Clubs


Exmouth's outrageous concentration of Pubs is inhabited mostly by Ben-Sherman shirts and young girls who seem to have escaped their baby-sitters for the weekend. Unless you join them all on their exact plane of beered-up intoxication, it is hard to have a truly good night out at the weekend. If you don't fancy shaving your head and communicating with a series of neandertal roars, it might be better heading for the slightly groovier places such as the "11a", "Remedies" or "The Old Barrel", rather than shouting the night away in a sports-pub.

Of course, later on you may fancy heading to one of the local clubs....or maybe not. You have a choice between the "Q-Club" and its gaggles of cackling middle-aged women with too much lip-stick; or "Samantha's" (known locally as just "Sam's" - or "Scum's"). "Sam's" holds a foam party once a week, and its the only time that this smelly little hole gets anything resembling a clean.

After all this merriment, its customary to stagger towards the town centre's Strand for some food. If your visiting Exmouth and you want to blend in on a night out, it is advised that you purchase Chips 'n' Cheese at this point, eat half of it and throw the rest on the floor. If you really want to enter into the spirit of things, you could instead throw the chips at someone else and start a fight.



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