Swimming
Created | Updated Mar 15, 2002
The skill of moving water from in front to a position behind the swimmer as a method of propulsion. There are four main flavours of swimming, front crawl, breaststroke, backstroke and butterfly. The most important strokes to the average hitchhiker are front crawl and breaststroke.
Front crawl – Technically the fastest stroke (always a good thing for hitchhikers to know), it will enable the user to move rapidly through the water with dignity but not grace. The principle being moving one arm at a time over the head and then pulling the water back underneath the body. (At this point you may wish to appreciate the need for diagrams.) As the person attempts to move the arms quicker to achieve greater velocities the swimmer loses all stability and just end up being the cause of a lot of spray.
Breaststroke - The slowest stroke (great to know once the hitchhiker has finished doing front crawl).
The theory behind breaststroke is to move the two arms forward together, like a prayer gone wrong, then pulling back. There is little hope of a non-professional swimmer gaining anything more than a few yards a minute without giving the impression of having a fit.
Backstroke – Fast if you want to know what happens behind you. Not useful to people who are likely to be swimming in the direction of, say, a wall (walls may not be clever, but they are big and hard, they will win). Like front crawl with the swimmer swing their arms back over their head and bringing it back down their side.
Butterfly – The best stroke to impress people. If you can do this stroke, you can do this stroke, if not you will drown. To move through the water you bring both arms over the head at the same time, whilst kicking both legs together. Any one attempting this stroke for the first time can be recognised by the screams of ‘help’ and ‘oh my God I am drowning’.
There are a lot of other variations on the above, as many will see when they go to the swimming baths. Any one who does go swimming after reading the above is warned the researcher is not responsible for anything that may result from it.
Generally swimming is a specific thing. Impressing people with say a martial art, athletics, gymnastics or show of strength is quite easy anywhere. But a swimmer must have at least 25 metres of water. Of course when swimming, the good thing is that the opposite sex will be in less clothes than they would normally have been in. Although many may wish they had something to cover themselves up if they get too excited by this prospect. Although again the researcher does not accept any responsibility for any one being embarrassed whilst swimming.
The only important thing is to always remember where your towel is!
