Here at h2g2, we know you are busy. We understand about your lifestyle. The many demands made upon your time. We know that from the moment you open your eyes to the moment your head touches the pillow - often in the wee small hours, after a relentlessy gruelling day - you are subject to endless pressures. The people, the little people: people who can't run their own lives and look to you to sort them out. The pressing throng of admirers and wellwishers. The constant financial demands of your advisors, wasting your time trying to maximise your investments, not realising - little people, little people - that a few per cent here or there makes no difference to one like you.
And the responsibilities. Frankly, here at h2g2, we sometimes wonder how you cope. Knowing that without you... well, it doesn't bear thinking about.
Yet still the demands continue. You can do without them. Particularly the demands of columnists and political commentators. So we have prepared this simple point-and-click opinion generator, using the latest Think-U-Like technology. Just click one item in each category and, hey presto!, there's a ready opinion.
Think-U-Like. Because We Know You're Busy®.
WHEN I THINK ABOUT
Jerry Springer running for office
That damn-fool eclipse everyone's talking about
Tony Blair's private holiday beach in Italy
Robert Downey Jr. getting three years in pokey
Gun control laws
New Age travellers threatening our ancient monuments
The inexorable rise in property prices
Hugh Grant's haircut
Decency, violence and the moral life of the inner city
Attacks on UN peace-keeping forces in Sierra Leone
American sponsorship of the Royal Opera House
The way the pet trade is wiping out the world's rare parrots
Chocolate ostensibly protecting us against cancer
The world Burger King Boycott
Wonder what all the fuss is about
Feel sick to my stomach
MY OLD MOTHER WOULD HAVE BEEN
IT MAKES ME WONDER WHY THEY CAN'T
All bugger off
Pull themselves together.
See? That wasn't so hard, was it? Now go back.