The h2g2 Poem

1 Conversation

Non-communication - A Beginners Guide

When asked 'Is anything the matter?'

The immediate answer should be 'No'.

When asked 'What are you doing?'

Reply 'Thinking' and continue to gaze vacuously.

If she persistes and says 'What about?'

The response 'Nothing much' should suffice.

Accuse your partner of not making her own interests

Then press the appropriate guilt buttons when she does -

You know, she's never in, the house is a mess,

The kids are missing her, that sort of thing.

Complain she never talks to you anymore

-and use the TV volume control to ensure she doesn't.

Above all, do not admit to pain, confusion or self-doubt,

It is not in your interest to appear human.

Never admit to feeling lost. All women are the same.

They don't need you, really, just a firm hand.

smiley - rosesmiley - rosesmiley - rosesmiley - rose

Poetry and Prose Archives


18.09.03 Front Page

Back Issue Page

Bookmark on your Personal Space

Conversations About This Entry



Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry

Written by



h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more