Theme Pubs are one of those odd oxymorons that slap you in the face on a wet Thursday afternoon. Or at least they do when you're so thirsty and hungry that you'd eat a kebab if you could get one.

Theme Pubs are pubs - this means you can buy alcohol there, drink said alcohol and repeat the process until

• (a) they throw you out because they want to close,
• (b) you get carried away on a stretcher because you fell unconsious, or
• (c) you get bored of the decor/music/company and decide to leave and find another pub, theme or otherwise.

Theme Pubs also have a "Theme" (although the precise theme is not always readily apparent). This means that you'll find the same pub replicated from town to town, with identical decor, menus, music and even bar staff. Themes can range from the dull (mock olde english family pubs - such as Harvesters) to the fashionably eccentric (nouveau-chic, open-plan, over-priced - such as the Slug & Lettuce).

One of the better theme brands is that of Bar Oz, where the tinnies are cheap enough and available in quantity, and the food is served in portions of a size designed to make you salivate and shudder at the same time. (The food there is also usually quite edible)