A Conversation for How To Call For An Emergency Ambulance.

Peer Review: A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 1

mad_malteaser

Entry: How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance. - A1150138
Author: mad_malteaser - U237833

After working for the ambulance service for a number of years, it's become very clear to me that so many people don't know what's expected of them when they dial 999. I just felt a little "How To" on the subject would make my life a whole lot easier!!!


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 2

Bistroist

Good idea smiley - ok When I first learned First Aid back in the dawnings of time, it was something our instructors made a great deal out of.

I must admit I haven't read through your entry very thoroughly, having just got The Salmon of Doubt and itching to read it, but here's a few thoughts.

As it is, the text could use a bit of breaking up, maybe add a few (but not more than three or so) headlines to make it easier to read. Are you using GuideML? If you are, some or tags would do nicely. If you're not (which I guess is the case), no worries, the Subs will probably take care of it.

Have you considered removing the "999"-bits? The advice is rather universal, and the number varies from country to country. Just refer to Emergency Phone Calls as such.

The 1st person references have to go. They clearly serve a purpose here, but that's just standard guide politics. Check the Writing Guidelines for elaboration.

It's a good entry, just adjust a few bits here and there, and it should be good to go smiley - cheers


cheers,
~Bistro smiley - orangefish


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 3

GreyDesk

You know I think this is the start of a cracking little entry. It's explaining a simple thing to me that I assume I already know, but I find I don't because I've never actually rung for an ambulance before. Well done smiley - smiley

And now for the criticism bits...

You do drift into the first person on occasions. These will have to be changed to third person. On the other hand first person anecdotes can be accepted if they are set as pull quotes and are there to add to the understanding of the entry.

The piece is very much UK specific. Now whilst this is a BBC site, a fair proportion of the audience here are from other countries. Obviously each one of these countries is going to have a different way of organising its emergency systems, so I see no mileage in trying to broaden the scope to other nations. Therefore you are going to have to make it clear either in the title or in the opening paragraph that you are talking about the UK.

Some folk will probably come along and say you should pay more attention to the layout vis the use of GuideML. I'd say ignore them if you are not confident with its use. I know for me it was a big step up to start using the mark up language properly, and anyway I think folk should be concentrating on the content here which I believe is just fine.

My closing comment? Great stuff smiley - ok


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 4

mad_malteaser

Thank you for your critiques on my work. You're right, I do need to do some adjustments. I will work on it a little more over the next few days. I'd be grateful if you would pop back and see how it's going.

Thanks again!


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 5

GreyDesk


For sure we'll be back. Just give us a shout here when you've done an update and tell us what you've been up to, then we'll come a running smiley - smiley


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 6

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

This really is a cracking entry smiley - ok

I've nothing to add to what's already been said other than to emphasise that you don't need to remove the first-person references, just re-write them. For instance:

"The amount of times I have taken a call where I've been told every tiny detail of a patient's medical history, down to when they had that ingrowing toenail removed 37 years ago is too many times to mention."

Could become

'It's not unknown for a caller to tell the handler every tiny detail of a patient's medical history, down to when they had that ingrowing toenail removed 37 years ago.'

As soon as you've made the necessary changes post here again to let us know so that we can take another look at it smiley - smiley

smiley - geeksmiley - online2longsmiley - stiffdrinksmiley - hangoversmiley - ok
Scout


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 7

Cyzaki

Just popping in to say it's a good entry! I might comment more later, when you've sorted the comments already made smiley - smiley

smiley - panda


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 8

mad_malteaser

Right, I think I've done the necessary things. I've taken out the first person references (easier than I thought) and also removed the 999 references. How'd I do? Also starting to get the hang of this GuideML thing now. I hope!


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 9

Cyzaki

The title seems a bit unweildly - you could just call it 'How to phone 999' or something similar, and cover all three services, or 'How to call an ambulance in the UK', or something...

smiley - panda


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 10

Cyzaki

Oh, i see you've removed the 999 bits... smiley - tongueout

smiley - panda


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 11

Cyzaki

One thing I'd question is the 'everyone calls an ambulance once every 7 years' bit - that seems an awful lot to me - I hope I'm not involved in (quick calculation...) 10 or so emergencies in my lifetime! I'd probably expect to need to call an ambulance once or twice... I'm not questioning that figure, I'm sure your sources are accurate, but it seems very high to me!

smiley - panda


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 12

McKay The Disorganised

Definately a needed entry - people always seem surprised when someone asks what service they require.

smiley - cheers


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 13

Azara

Great entry, mad malteaser!

With regard to 'which service' I think it would be a good idea to specify that the caller first needs to say whether it is an ambulance, fire brigade or police response that is needed.

One thing I'm not clear on, is what the caller should do if both ambulance and police or ambulance and fire brigade are needed - what's the most efficient approach in that case?

smiley - cheers
Azara
smiley - rose


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 14

mad_malteaser

Heehee, if you read the first line again, you'll notice I said "the AVERAGE person rings for an ambulance once every seven years" not EVERY person. Just thought I would point that out!! smiley - smiley And yeah, that is a fact! I couldn't believe it myself as it is quite a lot. I'm 23 and I've never rang for an ambulance, but then again, some 15 year olds have rang about 40 times!!


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 15

mad_malteaser

Thanks Azara for your points. I knew I was forgetting something in there!! smiley - smiley

I think I've clarified your points now, have a read of the footnote for me though, I've read it so many times it's starting to not make sense to me, but I'm sure it did before smiley - doh

Thanks again!

Sarah smiley - devil


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 16

Kerr_Avon - hunting stray apostrophes and gutting poorly parsed sentences

Or Coast Guard or Mountain Rescue, if you're near the coast or mountainous terrain.

smiley - ale


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 17

Zarquon's Singing Fish!

It might be worth saying that if you call from a phone box, the address where the phone box is will be there in front of you. People who train children to phone for the emergency services (for instance at Junior Citizen events http://www.met.police.uk/juniorcitizen/) teach children this.

smiley - fishsmiley - musicalnote


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 18

FordsTowel

I know that you attempted to take out all first person references. I presume that the original versions had more, but one may still remain.

At the end, you mention that 'we' will appreciate your handling your end of the call well. You may need to change 'we' to 'they'.

smiley - towel


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 19

mad_malteaser

Right, I think I'm about done with this now. Have added some links (after much playing about!) and I'm pretty happy with the way it's looking. Have I missed anything??

Sarah smiley - devil


A1150138 - How To Call For An Emergency 999 Ambulance.

Post 20

Bistroist

Looks fine to me smiley - cheers



-Bistro smiley - orangefish


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