A Conversation for Talking Point: Making Friends

key ability... though cheesy

Post 1

Mothwing

I think the major ability one needs to make friends is RESPECT and an open mind- of course one has to accept people the way they are and be able to tolerate them If these abilities are there, one will get the most interesting and best friends in the world.
I know just how cheesy this sounds, but we kid ourselves if we believe respect really is as normal as we are made to believe - tolerance should be one of the key issues, and indeed, it is, but who has ever taken it really seriously?
My friends are all highly individual, and the thing about real personalities is that they can be difficult, and that they don't get along with other people very well. But if you just are patient enough to think about the fact that they also are putting up with you, your angle changes and you really have friends for life.
Friendships als need working - one can't expect them just to be there and go on forever. There may always be periods when people just have nothing in common and nothing to talk about. These may be difficult times, but they pass.


key ability... though cheesy

Post 2

maddogcooney

Hear, hear!

I'm right there with you! Respect is very important. Respect means that people and the decisions they make and the way they live their lives are valid, regardless of how it relates to your own perspective.

Respect also requires one to not fear the differences in others. Someone may be living in a way that I wouldn't live but I can respect their own decisions on how to live their life. I'm not a bible student nor do I subscribe to a particular religion but that Jesus fellow said some right smart stuff. "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." and "Judge not, lest ye be judged yourself." I think Buddha said the same thing but I can't quote it. (Catholic School, 12yrs!)

Who am I to decide the validity of someone else. How can I, with all my faults, imperfections and bumbling, judge someone about the choices they make. I'd like people to respect me and the choices I've made. I'd be an a** to not respect in kind.

Not cheesy in the least... unless it's a nice brie with a fresh baguette and some good olives.

mmmm.....

-Maddog


key ability... though cheesy

Post 3

Collif

I agree with you fully.
Respect and tolerance have to exist in a friendship, especially if you have original friends (I have a good few). I mean I have friendships with alot of respect and a few where only I give respect (a bit). A couple of my friends are completly opposed to any kind of drugs (like caffiene or headache medicene) while others are vegetartians. I would not choose such lifestyles but I respect their decision and I honour them for choosing their own way.
In other cases there is a complete lack of respect. For example, I have a hawaiian shirt (not a big deal but I like it) and you would not believe the heckling some of my friends gave me for it. No respect! Now I do complain about his lifestyle a bit too but it's hard to respect someone if they do not respect you.


key ability... though cheesy(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 4

maddogcooney

Well, I too suffer from the "Hawiian shirt bias." I have quite a selection of tasteful, yet festive shirts and I receive a large amount of grief from people about them (much of it from my very spouse!!!).

I sincerely believe it is jealousy. I don't mean jealousy for the possession of the shirt, anyone can go out and buy one. I believe it is jealousy for the audacity, and aplomb to pull off wearing such an excellent garment.

Sometimes an excellently festive shirt can be like casting your pearls before swine. If people do not appreciate the finer points of what you wear and are so shortsighted that they can't see what such a garment says about the wearer, we must be patient with them. Alas, not all beings on this miserable rock can be as enlightened as us who appreciate the Hawiian shirt. Someday, they'll look back and think, "I remember this really hoopy frood in a wild shirt..."

--maddog


(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 5

Mothwing

Oh, I think we've all been there, haven't we!
Through all my idealistic phases I never ever got over the fact how downright stupid this species really can be. Seems to have to do with the fact that we are supposed to live in er, packs? hordes? Whatever gorillas live in (I'm non-native... right, y'all guessed that already), so it is a natural desire to dress up like the rest of your associated horde... And how narrow minded people can be about haircuts, or the wrong kind of boots... ah,the hell of numerous schooldays!

I'm with you, maddog, believing it's jealousy. It's easy to dress up the same as everybody else, but it is brave to be different. But no one ever hails the quiet heroes!


(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 6

Mothwing

Oh, I think we've all been there, haven't we!
Through all my idealistic phases I never ever got over the fact how downright stupid this species really can be. Seems to have to do with the fact that we are supposed to live in er, packs? hordes? Whatever gorillas live in (I'm non-native... right, y'all guessed that already), so it is a natural desire to dress up like the rest of your associated horde... And how narrow minded people can be about haircuts, or the wrong kind of boots... ah,the hell of numerous schooldays!

I'm with you, maddog, believing it's jealousy. It's easy to dress up the same as everybody else, but it is brave to be different. But no one ever hails the quiet heroes!

And thanks a lot for not thinking my view cheesy!

-- Mothwing


(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 7

Collif

Woo! Finally some people who aren't afraid to be different! Differences are exactly the reason why respect is important in friendships. And I agree with your reason for people not liking "bold" clothes. I agree with you Mothwing, I don't like the idea of being a pack animal either.


(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 8

Mr Mooncheese

I refer all of you to The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band
I konw you'll all " wake up every morning with a smile upon your face!"
smiley - ale


(Hawiian Shirts!)

Post 9

Mr Mooncheese

I refer all of you to The Bonzo Dog Doodah Band
I konw you'll all " wake up every morning with a smile upon your face!"
smiley - ale


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