h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's nice

Traveller in Time on his head
"When we get too thirsty I will be serving some refreshments...

Our twenty-eight cheif weapons that you've heard so much about on eBay are:

Some smelly feet.
An expensive taxi.
An empty cardboard box.
A bloated Indian warrior.
An incredibly hard 6-peice puzzle.
A small balloon.
An unknown smiley .
The human genome sequence. (pocket edition) {Handy for the pocket!}
The patented already inflated inflatable raft.
The automatic lunchbox disabling device.
A stop to (this is a stealthy weapon!)
The not-quite-half-full glass.
A big purple and red sign that says "eBay" on one side and "Uday" on the other.
A Britany Spears and other assorted teeny-bopper music album. {to blow the heads off all sane people}
A small river from Italy,
An empty M&Ms packet *without* any M&m's left!!! ( <growing&gt,
A glow in the dark autographed snorkel!.
A special edition "I got tortured by the Spanish Inquisition and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirt.
A piece of paper with 'IOU a hell of a lot of weapons' written on it.
A miniture monument used to pray to the most holy smiley.
A crotcheting fish named Hermanm.
A cute little bunny rabbit toy. [to scare the life out of your relitives]
A spare foldable sign saying "the spanish Inquisitors are coming!".
An incredable search engine placing the society above the smapped spam.
Trousers with built in wheelbarrow for an overloaded backpocket.
A water pistol that squirts jam. < B75034 >
A big panic whilst trying to count the weapons again.
AND a book of destructions for some unknown appliance.
A holy branch of the hidden shrubbery


Our TWENTY-NI (I counted) weapons for use in an emergency."

TWENTY-NI ?? this is truely a python society!

!!!!!!!

(prays to smiley)

good.

Parrobot counting his toes (ten?)
"SQueeeeeeick!
Here we are gathered today with our collection of twenty ni chief emergency weapons.
No longer available for the bargainprice at e-bay, you will have to resort at Ubay or in your back pocket.


Some smelly feet.
An expensive taxi.
An empty cardboard box.
A bloated Indian warrior.
An incredibly hard 6-peice puzzle.
A small balloon.
An unknown smiley .
The human genome sequence. (pocket edition) {Handy for the pocket!}
The patented already inflated inflatable raft.
The automatic lunchbox disabling device.
A stop to (this is a stealthy weapon!)
The not-quite-half-full glass.
A big purple and red sign that says "eBay" on one side and "Uday" on the other.
A Britany Spears and other assorted teeny-bopper music album. {to blow the heads off all sane people}
A small river from Italy,
An empty M&Ms packet *without* any M&m's left!!! ( <growing&gt,
A glow in the dark autographed snorkel!.
A special edition "I got tortured by the Spanish Inquisition and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" t-shirt.
A piece of paper with 'IOU a hell of a lot of weapons' written on it.
A miniture monument used to pray to the most holy smiley.
A crotcheting fish named Hermanm.
A cute little bunny rabbit toy. [to scare the life out of your relitives]
A spare foldable sign saying "the spanish Inquisitors are coming!".
An incredable search engine placing the society above the smapped spam.
Trousers with built in wheelbarrow for an overloaded backpocket.
A water pistol that squirts jam. < B75034 >
A big panic whilst trying to count the weapons again.
A book of destructions for some unknown appliance.
A holy branch of the hidden shrubbery.
A herd of Pythonists snaking around and lurking their heads off.


Counting on my toes I go tree times round must be thirsty by now.
Anyone a drink?"

*buys a round*

(oops)

better buy some more

*goes off to buy second round whilst counting on toes*

Traveller in Time on one leg
"Money must flow
( )) )) ))
) ))) ))))
Let there be thirsty for everyone.
So next time we all can buy at U-bay."

Ahhh, I do believe it's time for a new round (and not just of <stifdrink&gt. Who wants to start it?

Cat

Alright then

*clears throat*

*goes out door and changes into Spanish Inquisition uniform*

BA-BA!!!
*door flies open*

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Our cheif weapon IS a bag of jelly babies and a Comfy chair!

What? oh, sorry

Our TWO cheif weapons are a bag of jelly babies and a comfy Chair

*whisper whisper~~don't correct me!!~~*

Our cheif weapons are surprise, fear, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion the Pope, a mouthful of weaponry, charismatic personalities, my hat with three corners, an astounding talent at tap dancing, a slightly battered stuffed bunny, the comfy chair, my pointy nose, the soft pillows with the nice red uniforms in a pink canoe and high boots and those things with a raffia work base that has an attachment. Damn sixteen. "

read the rest of the thread

Traveller in Time on his head runs into the room
"Now I am coinfused!

Our sixteentwo fierce weapons of interrogation for this inquisition are.."

Parrobot already in the room interrupts him
"Squeeeeeck! You can not count like that!
It is,.. it's,.. its,.. ssssseven,
A bag of jelly babies a comfy chair a surprise party of ruthless fearfull efficient and fanatical devoters of the with their mouths full of weaponry. The talent to tap a dance of a battered stuffed bunny onhis comfy chair, those things with a raffia work base that has an attachment. And some nails to shut them up afterwards."

Traveller still fusing
"You can not count either those are eight fierce weapons as far as I see."

Traveller in Time on a party hat to get in the mood to celebrate the Graham party.
"Wow, these eight feirce weapons of interrogation have been rusting here since last year.

A bag of jelly babies a comfy chair a surprise party of ruthless fearfull efficient and fanatical devoters of the with their mouths full of weaponry. The talent to tap a dance of a battered stuffed bunny onhis comfy chair, those things with a raffia work base that has an attachment some nails to shut them up afterwards. A speachless HPB to baffle them and an inflatable surprise party.

Come and see our nine weapons of interrogation, count count, our ten weapons of interrogation."

Ha! i am a rival spanish inquisition, we are more advanced then the other. OUR cheif weapon is silly dances, and a dislike for fungus that grows between toes. Oh, that and... bugger. we have two main weapons, both of which are stronger than the other inquisition's.

Traveller in Time falling asleep under his party hat
"In this I must disagree we do not have two cheif weapons of interrogation we had ten then you came along we had ten you had two now lets see:"
He changes to his official Pythonesque spanish inquisition suit
"Our ten cheif weapons are a bag of jelly babies a comfy chair a surprise party of ruthless fearfull efficient and fanatical devoters of the with their mouths full of weaponry. The talent to tap a dance of a battered stuffed bunny onhis comfy chair, those things with a raffia work base that has an attachment some nails to shut them up afterwards. A speachless HPB to baffle them an inflatable surprise party apperantly used to blow a party for our beloved late Chapman. And recently dicovered in a sale a set of silly dances a dislike for fungus that grows between toes and a bunch of flowers, I will place them in a proper vase later on thing.
These are our current ten (counting register sounds in the background) sorry twelve cheif weapons of interrogation. Thirteen weapons!"

thats unlucky. having thirteen weapons and a small aardvark. boy oh boy. wait. that makes fourteen! and i havent even considered the bats!

Wait wait wait.....hang on a minute. I'm confused.
Let me see if I've got this straight.

The fourteen weapons of interrogation you have are:
A bag of jelly babies.
A comfy chair.
A surprise party.
Ruthless, fearful, efficient and fanatical devotees of the .
Mouths full of weaponry.
The talent to dance on taps.
A stuffed bunny covered in batter.
Another comfy chair (called Steve).
Those things with a rafia work base that has an attachment with some nails to shut them up afterwards.
A speechless HPB to baffle them. (What the devil is a one of those? Is it like that thing... you know, with the thing? and the 'Whoosh!'? Like that guy off the show has. No not that show the other show, on TV, with that guy who looks like that other guy with the thing.... oh you know. No? oh well, never mind.)

*ahem*
A set of silly dances.
A dislike for fungus that grows between toes.
A bunch of flowers in a proper vase.
A small aardvark.
and a sub-orbital attack buffalo. (Go on! ask me what a sub-orbital attack buffalo is! You know you want to. )

Fourteen, did you say?

*counts*

...eight...nine...ten... Wait.

*takes off socks, starts counting again*

...thirteen...fourteen...Fifteen!

See? I was right!