A Conversation for h2g2 Game Addicts Support Group

The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 421

tonemonkey(Steve Cooper, of BLiM fame (?!) contact me!)

Live Locusts? Hmmph some guys have all the luck!

I was fed to a lion who had earlier been fed upon live scarab beatles (the flesh eating sort, like in the mummy) who were trained to administer me with the ebola virus!.


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Post 422

toybox

I didn't want to shock you nor arouse pity, otherwise I would have told the full story: first I had been fed with sea urchins with their shells on, and then I had to eat the lion myself, from within his belly, with myself still in it, so I eventually vanished into nothingness!


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 423

AlexoOo

You have had an easy life, and no mistake, some people are just born lucky.

I had to eat two lions whole, which had been fed on a diet of stingrays, puffer fish and sea anenome, the really poisonous spikey ones. They then proceeded to eat me from the inside, and I was digested into a kind of pink goo while I was still alive.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 424

Rosemary {[(2+2+2)^2]+4+2=42}

you had it easy-the stomach acid would break up the sea urchins etc-I had my stomach opened, without anesthetic, and the sea urchins put in, or forced in whent they ran out of room


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Post 425

Ace Rimmer [pretending]

Snobby spoiled little brat.
I had to first drink my own stomach acid, then open my own stomach, without an anesthetic and without a scalpell, I used a toothpick.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 426

AlexoOo

What I would have given to be allowed to drink my own stomach acid!!

I had to drink hydrochloric acid from a metal bowl connected to the live wire from a electricity pylon. It was some experiment my evil dictator stepdad was doing. He also kept guinea pigs, but he was nice to them.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 427

AlexoOo

. . . . . . . . . . . .when I was three, my stepdad got me my first job as a target in the local military rifle range.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 428

Researcher PSG

Ha, luxury.

I was a grade three sewerage shoveller at age three, and my dad locked me in a cellar with a load of rats to catch viles disease and build character

Researcher PSG


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Post 429

AlexoOo

Only sewerage, only rats and only diseases?

I had to shovel plutonium, protected only by a small nappy (I was one and a half), until I fell over with exhaustion. My evil stepdad then woke me up by pouring molten lead in my mouth and made me do a further 120 hour shift.







(After he'd poked my eyes out with a rusty nail)


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 430

Researcher PSG

Luxury

I had to hold in the explosion at chernobyl using only a snall golfing umbrella when I was but a -1 year old. I was then required to stitch every grain of sand in the sahara together having first been cut into long thin strips and deep fried

Researcher PSG


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 431

[...]

Sahara? You were livin' in paradise.

I had to stitch all the dust on mars together with me little finger wit' only a small oxygen t' keep me head from 'splodin'.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 432

AlexoOo

Well,aren't you mummy's little favourite!

I had to make that big ring around saturn from parts of my own body, held together with thread woven from strips of skin from the palms of my hands. But you don't hear me complain. That's because my tongue was chewed off by a wild Saturn moon-fox.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 433

Rosemary {[(2+2+2)^2]+4+2=42}

What a softie: I was atomised, without being given ANY pain relief, and my atoms were turned into the voyager space probe, to be eaten by any alien life form that finds it


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 434

Laura

Pah! Well my atoms were put through a spectrometer and that was after digestion in nitric acid.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 435

Researcher PSG

Luxury!

I was forcefed to a pack of ravenous gerbils who ate all the flesh off my bones every morning at -1am, before having to rebuild the universe atom by atom one star system to the left and reordering the memories of all intelligent life so they wouldn't notice.

It was only on days of special celebration that I got to be digested in nitric acid.

Researcher PSG


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 436

AlexoOo

. . . . . I always thought that there was something fundamentally wrong with the universe . . . . . . . .


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 437

AlexoOo

Some people don't even know they are born!

I had to create every parallel universe, of which there are an infinity, everyone a slight bit different fromt the last, using only sand, blue-tac, and chicken wire. Before breakfast. After breakfast (which involved being kicked in the teeth by a steel toe-capped stepdad), I had to mine plutonium in the nude with my teeth.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 438

Jon Quixote: steaming little purple buns for tea.

Pah, that's for loafers.

When I was a lad, I had to create all eventualities and produce a backup copy for posterity using an old electrical manual as a reference, and I didn't even get to differenciate between before and after until I created breakfast, that I didn't get to eat. Then after that, I didn't rest on t' seventh day I had to mine and refine three different ores with nothing but a used toothpick.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 439

Rosemary {[(2+2+2)^2]+4+2=42}

i had to create the infinite possiblities manual, and the back up, with absolutely no backup, and no hands.


The Monty Python Sketch page

Post 440

WHO IS MATAR HARI

When i was a lad ,Our Familie where so poor i didn't get me dangly bits,So i ended up a girl.
And i had the job of snuffing all the stars out before breakfast,and had to relight them every night before bed,if that was not enough,Also had to stoke the sun up with fuel ,and bank it down at night.


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