"Whether we like it or not..."

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This is that most rare of things, a collaborative poem. We hope you enjoy it.

"Whether we like it or not..."

Reasons to be Proud you are British

Number One: The Weather

We have more weather

than any other nation
(which is A Good Thing;

we are Polite,

and Reserved,

and it gives us Something to Talk About at dinner).

Number Two: Humour

To wit: our enduring global legacy

of irony,

and slapstick,

and surrealism;
(which brings us neatly back to):

Number Three: The Weather

Which affords so much of the above humour.
(Polite, reserved and self-deprecating

as we are).

Number Four: Freedom to discuss
(Not change, merely discuss)

Politics, Religion and a Woman's Age
(which of course we mustn't mention at dinner...

... and which therefore brings us back to):

Number Five: The Weather
(Which we may discuss at dinner

and which we also

cannot change).

Then there is Number Six: Our decaying NHS

Which still offers more healthcare

than elsewhere

at the cheapest rate.
(But which is difficult to access by public transport

which is often hampered by)...

Number Seven: The Weather

Number Eight: "Nether Wallop"

and all the other wonderful names

bestowed on our ancient villages.
(Irony or slapstick?

What do you think?)

And which of course we canot reach

because of leaves on the line

or the wrong kind of snow

which mean the trains cannot get there.
(This is - obviously - due to)...

Number Nine: The Weather

And, rising at Number Ten: we have Music
(Where we combine




and a number one hit

which celebrates our ultimate icons:

the men who are paid to talk about...
The Weather).


John Kettley is a weather man1

A weather man

A weather man

John Kettley is a weather man

And so is Michael Fish
1'John Kettley is a Weather Man' by The Tribe of Toffs - see One Hit Wonders

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