This is that most rare of things, a collaborative poem. We hope you enjoy it.
"Whether we like it or not..."
Reasons to be Proud you are British
Number One: The Weather
We have more weather
than any other nation
(which is A Good Thing;
we are Polite,
and it gives us Something to Talk About at dinner).
Number Two: Humour
To wit: our enduring global legacy
(which brings us neatly back to):
Number Three: The Weather
Which affords so much of the above humour.
(Polite, reserved and self-deprecating
as we are).
Number Four: Freedom to discuss
(Not change, merely discuss)
Politics, Religion and a Woman's Age
(which of course we mustn't mention at dinner...
... and which therefore brings us back to):
Number Five: The Weather
(Which we may discuss at dinner
and which we also
Then there is Number Six: Our decaying NHS
Which still offers more healthcare
at the cheapest rate.
(But which is difficult to access by public transport
which is often hampered by)...
Number Seven: The Weather
Number Eight: "Nether Wallop"
and all the other wonderful names
bestowed on our ancient villages.
(Irony or slapstick?
What do you think?)
And which of course we canot reach
because of leaves on the line
or the wrong kind of snow
which mean the trains cannot get there.
(This is - obviously - due to)...
Number Nine: The Weather
And, rising at Number Ten: we have Music
(Where we combine
and a number one hit
which celebrates our ultimate icons:
the men who are paid to talk about...
John Kettley is a weather man1
A weather man
A weather man
John Kettley is a weather man
And so is Michael Fish