DIY Do's and Don'ts: The art of the hammer, or, wear gloves whenever possible

0 Conversations

Make sure the head is secure on both tool and tool-user.


We, here at Irritating Public Radio, Your Friends In The Air, try to be helpful as often as we can.

Thus, in order to assist the radio-listening public, we once again provide you with the wisdom of one of the greatest contractors who ever lived:


Hello, this is Art P. Ratchet, the Prince of Peins!

Today we are going to examine the ancient martial and artistic art of the Hammer.

Your actual hammer is usually a bit of metal attached to the end of a bit of wood.

Some have had handles of metal and fiber glass and other extruded and formed substances, but for a good shock resistance and the ability to splinter when you are doing something with the hammer that you really shouldn't be doing, a real wood handle is the best thing.

The bit of metal, unlike an axe or a hatchet or a, for instance, brush hook, should be blunt on one end and have a split device on the other so that you can pull the nails you have just Hawaiianed back out of the board and whack them sideways back into some form of straightness so that you can try again and create some more original swear words.

Keeping in mind that the hammer is a warlike instrument, a tool that while it can be a very creative item, can also do damage of such an extent that the authorities might want to put you where you won't have access any more to it...

or your belt and shoelaces... or any sharp objects...


Now, having said that, let us move onto the next best topic, the topic of safety.

Now, despite our best efforts, sometimes there is something in the whacking area that will impede our efforts or our health.

It is always best practice to wear protective eyeware of some kind and, in many cases, a pair of gloves. These do not have to be heavy gloves that would impede your dexterity, such as it is, but they should be thick enough that the thumb of your opposite hand is protected and the palm of your tool hand is not likely to become calloused or blistered during your attempts to hammer a straight nail.

I have learned over the years that it is not unmanly to drill a pilot hole before you commence nailing two objects together. It not only makes things easier when you do grasp the hammer in a determined manner, but it gives you an excuse to visit the ironmongers more often, as hammers do not need replacing as often as drills, in my experience.

If your experience is somewhat different, then relate it on a postcard and bop it over here to us so that we may read it on the air and all of us get a good laugh.

Well, that's about all for today.

Be kind to your tools and use them in good health.
This has been Art P. Ratchet, for DIY Dos and Don'ts!
42 sec of "Anvil Chorus", by the LSO

Bookmark on your Personal Space


Conversations About This Entry

There are no Conversations for this Entry

Entry

A959736

Infinite Improbability Drive

Infinite Improbability Drive

Read a random Edited Entry


Written and Edited by

Disclaimer

h2g2 is created by h2g2's users, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the Not Panicking Ltd. Unlike Edited Entries, Entries have not been checked by an Editor. If you consider any Entry to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please register a complaint. For any other comments, please visit the Feedback page.

Write an Entry

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."

Write an entry
Read more