A Conversation for Modern Etiquette
MAD Jon Started conversation Mar 23, 2003
I smoke and as a result am quite often asked for a cigarette especially by "beggars".
I have a simple rule. If they include the word please in their request they get one otherwise they don't I don't explain this to them.
Its surprising how many people don't get a cigerette and I have a clear consciene.
magoogy Posted Mar 23, 2003
i never give to beggers - they usually have more money than me, but wannt more!!!!
EncyBass-: Not going to be around much next week, cos I've got a new job... Posted Mar 24, 2003
What gets me is when they start getting all shirty because you don't give them anything.
Line I find that works:
"Got a spare fag mate?"
"No- I'm going to smoke them all."
GraceK Posted Mar 24, 2003
I used to worry about beggars but a friend gave a me conscience saving idea which works for me. First of all they have to say 'Please' and should not have a dog on a string. Then if they ask you for some money for food, offer to buy them a sandwich & a cup of tea. So far only one person has ever taken me up on this offer (& he wasn't an English beggar) - this leads me to believe that the others wanted the money for something else. So call their bluff - if they're genuinely hungry then you've helped them out but if they're just after the cash you've embarassed them into the bargain.
myworld8me Posted Mar 24, 2003
I respect truth and honesty. Therefor, if a beggar asks me for change he gets, nothing, if its coffee which he is looking for, nothing, but if asked for bouze of fag money, watch the notes fly from my pocket!
i just dont like being lied to.
Lowmankind Posted Mar 24, 2003
I'm always tempted to ask what I get for my money. Because, when you get right down to it, money is what we exchange for goods and services. Giving money to a beggar, as far as I'm concerned, yields no rewards - especially not moral ones. If you give money to a charity or charitable organisation, you can rest assured that this money will go towards helping a person or good cause, by way of protection, counselling, food, etc. And as for other rewards, well, you receive neither goods nor service. If I give money to a beggar, the only thing I get is a dull sense of remorse that I am a few dollars down. I would rather spend that money on a friend in need than a stranger who is most likely using it to get drunk or otherwise intoxicated.
So if the beggar doesn't look too threatening, or isn't in a group, I sometimes ask them, "What do I get for my two dollars? Will you give me a little dance? Sing me a song, perhaps?" In most cases, they move on to the next person as soon as they can. What is a worry is when they are willing to do something for that money. Because I have no desire to see them dance, or sing -- we have buskers for that (and, dare I say, prostitutes). What I want is to help them realise that money is not a free-flowing commodity. I don't smoke, and I think the potential for deplorable acts whilst intoxicated is too high. In the end, I feel I'm forced to make a choice between two evils, and I always go for the lesser. It's either, help someone who says they're in need but really are in want, or try to not contribute to potential deplorable acts. It's a tough choice, but I have a clear conscience about the one I take.
U180540 Posted Mar 25, 2003
Aye... I give 20p a day to shelter and consider this enough. They'll spend it much better than your average beggar.
The Quartermaster Posted Mar 25, 2003
a good start, indeed, but do more. Someone already mentioned buying beggars food if they're hungry. That's a good thing to do. Also, for those beggars who are obviously addicts, refer them to a program. Help them to get out of the hole they are in instead of helping them dig it deeper.
twinsouls Posted Mar 25, 2003
Love your strategy. I do just the same. I've also another tip: did you noticed that a lot of beggars hold a paper with their request? And did you noticed that recently they seem to have all the same paper? It even LOOKS the same, as if they were all written by the same hand. And quite often they are well dressed, with expensive clothes... Hmm, it smells funny, doesn't it? I actually found some family of them in a bar having a luxury breakfast before they go begging... These things does not fit in well with begging.
Moreover, here in Italy it happens quite often that some beggar dies and leaves an inheritance of billions. So maybe that one who wrote that thay "usually have more money than me" was right.
And as for humanitary aid associations, I'm very sad to disappoint many, but one of my best friend was (until a few years ago) the financial consultant of some of these associations here in Italy. You really can't imagine where their money is, but I can assure you it's not where their mouth is.
So I never donate to associations: I prefere to give to single persons I know will use the money properly. And I don't give to beggars, UNLESS something in their attitude touches my heart. I have to feel they are "clean" inside. I prefer buskers.
I can invite a meal to who's really in hunger, though.
Key: Complain about this post
- 1: MAD Jon (Mar 23, 2003)
- 2: magoogy (Mar 23, 2003)
- 3: EncyBass-: Not going to be around much next week, cos I've got a new job... (Mar 24, 2003)
- 4: GraceK (Mar 24, 2003)
- 5: myworld8me (Mar 24, 2003)
- 6: Lowmankind (Mar 24, 2003)
- 7: U180540 (Mar 25, 2003)
- 8: The Quartermaster (Mar 25, 2003)
- 9: magoogy (Mar 25, 2003)
- 10: twinsouls (Mar 25, 2003)
- 11: magoogy (Mar 25, 2003)